Octavia Con Amore  Succubard's Library

Since yesterday was international trans day of visibility, let's talk about visibility  

Being visibly trans (and more broadly, queer) is dangerous. I don't mean "you'll get nasty messages", I mean you risk getting doxxed, or mobbed and cut off from communities which are our very lifeline (in every sense of the word), or having random fuckos fantasizing about bashing your head in with a baseball bat, shooting you up with an ak-47, or sending credible threats of violence (all examples I've personally seen from "pillars" of certain communities of marginalised people here in fedi  )

Part of this is the insideous, incessant idea that having a 2D profile pic (pfp) means you're a bigot or even a Nazi.

Being able to use a real face as a pfp (and, relatedly, real names) on an account is a privilege. There is the potential harm from others mentioned earlier, but there is also the fact that we trans people often are unable to even look in a mirror without severe distress, and having our faces on a pfp can be even worse  

Judging people who have a 2D avatar (almost always called an "anime" avatar by these types even though most 2D pfps aren't from anime) as a bigot without ever knowing them is a direct form of anti-trans discrimination (and anti-queer discrimination). This comes up fairly often on fedi, and if you'd like to do an allyship, you can not only dismantle this idea in your own mind, but also speak up for us when ignorant people trot this idea out for the umpteenth time that year 

#Trans #Queer #SocialJustice

p.s. Oh, I forgot to mention this tangent: trans-fems get the most visibility out of trans people generally, which doesn't mean we get more power; it means we have the brightest targets on our back, that we have one less layer of defense (see the survivability onion), that we get the most scrutiny. Visibility isn't a boon, it's a curse for us. Trans-fems you see that are highly visible on purpose are doing so despite the risks and detriments that come with it in the hope that it might help those who have yet to hatch, but demanding use of that visibility from us is demanding we take more risks 

 Survivability onion from outer to inner layers of defense: don't be seen, don't be acquired, don't be hit, don't be penetrated, don't be killed.

Apr 2 at 4:00amWeb
Show threadLyca4d ago
@OctaviaConAmore genuinely what were they cooking when they came up with trans day of visibility rather than trans day of solidarity or camaraderie or smth
Show threadOctavia Con Amore  Succubard's Library4d ago

@creedow I always advocate first asking "were they thinking"  

that said, visibility can mean we give eggs an example of what they could eventually be, so that may have been one of the sentiments behind it, as dangerous as it may be for us  

the alternatives you mentioned feel like they'd be better, though 

Show threadOrca 🌻 | 🎀 | 🪁 | 🏴🏳️‍⚧️4d ago
@OctaviaConAmore @creedow visibility can mean we give eggs an example of what they could eventually beHonestly that may be the only valid reason to trans visibility for me, "validating people still questioning themselves and asking whether they're the only one feeling this way".
Trans visibility to cis people has, at best, been met with indifference.
Show threadMari the Deer 4d ago

@OctaviaConAmore can confirm that I've gotten partially doxxed (glad the GDPR prevented the worst of it), mobbed, cut off from many communities, have folks fantasizing about murdering me, or me getting V-coded in a men's prison, or whatever, and yes, "pillars of the community" have been involved in it".

It's (not) funny how that happens... 

Show threadSzabó Em, Enigma He-Art Director 4d ago

@OctaviaConAmore posts like this are exactly why I spend Trans Day of Visibility soap boxxing "don't out people without their consent".

Some of us have that fire to be open and to be that walking middle finger to cis patriarchy. Others don't and that isn't shameful. Everyone has their own reasons as to why. Be it their job, family, etc. If they ain't out, let them be.

The "nazi anime pfp" thing has always smacked of at best holier-than-thou and at worst people saying that come off as fascist themselves. Anonymity doesn't auto-magically mean that person is evil and it's kinda sus if you say it does. Dysphoria sucks butts and I didn't always use my face and name so publicly. I do it now as a challenge to the broader USA zeitgeist. I do it because I have that fire. I'll gladly paint a target on my back to protect other trans siblings. To normalize our lives.

Cis people:
Fucking listen to us more. Don't. Out. People. Who. Aren't. Out.

Show threadOctavia Con Amore  Succubard's Library4d ago

@jadedtwin yeah, it feels like holier-than-though x ignorance in most cases  

it's the reason I make these sorts of "any trans person would know this" educational posts, so that even if the people being bigoted can't be educated, any audience to their bigotry might be primed to spot it and, if we're very fortunate, even point it out for those who don't know 

Show threadNova3d ago

Being able to use a real face as a pfp (and, relatedly, real names) on an account is a privilege.@OctaviaConAmore (🌌 system) this! 💯