Dear Hiring Manager.

Thank you for your recent job advertisement. I really appreciate the time and effort you put into it.

However after careful consideration, I have decided to move forward with other companies who more closely match my needs at this time. Unfortunately, this means I will not be progressing my application further.

I understand this news may be disappointing, but please don't be discouraged. I frequently look at careers websites for new opportunities, and encourage you to continue to advertise any roles that may match my skills and interest in the future.

Thank you again for your interest in having me as part of your team. I wish you all the best in your candidate search.

@TheBreadmonkey I know lots of hiring managers who would just think 'aww that's a shame but what a nice email'. The irony would bounce off them.

@TheBreadmonkey the thread for this toot is a treasure trove of memes and reaction pics with which a certain internet shitposter might abscond

the post itself is going in the copy vault, for unironic use on linkedin shitlords