Can we put "how much time do you spend worrying if you are being misunderstood?" on the list of autism diagnostic questions?
Being misunderstood is my greatest fear in life, & I'm pretty sure autistic trauma is why.
"How often do you feel like you need to clarify things you say with very specific language?"
Here's a good one: "Do people often claim that you said something which you *definitely* did not say & get mad at you, even though you chose your language very specifically to try to make your meaning *abundantly* clear?"
"Do conversations with a single individual sometimes feel like a game of 'telephone' because the other person keeps incorrectly paraphrasing things you say?"
@artemis I don't think it's an autistic thing specifically... Most people are terrible at understanding what they're being told, at not misinterpreting, and one of the great mysteries of the Universe to me is how the heck humanity has so far managed to not wipe itself out given the incredible number of misunderstandings that happen every day, every minute.
Humans are bad at communication. Most of the time, they're in their own head, not listening to you, not paying attention to what you're actually saying, because it doesn't interest them as much as what they're going to say when you're done. Or, if they actually listen, they will interpret what you said through their own sieve, their own insecurities and perception of the world, and what they take away from it might be very different from what you intended.
It is a tragedy, and I've long suffered from it too, even as a fairly neurotypical person.
Nowadays, it's a great test to see if I will get along with someone. If I'm able to talk to them and they actually listen and understand my meaning, it's a good start. Otherwise, thank you, next.
Artemis
Laurent Bercot