Artemis14h ago

Can we put "how much time do you spend worrying if you are being misunderstood?" on the list of autism diagnostic questions?

Being misunderstood is my greatest fear in life, & I'm pretty sure autistic trauma is why.

"How often do you feel like you need to clarify things you say with very specific language?"

Show threadArtemis14h ago

Here's a good one: "Do people often claim that you said something which you *definitely* did not say & get mad at you, even though you chose your language very specifically to try to make your meaning *abundantly* clear?"

"Do conversations with a single individual sometimes feel like a game of 'telephone' because the other person keeps incorrectly paraphrasing things you say?"

Show threadArtemis14h ago

I have no idea how many hours of my life I have spent explaining to people that I didn't say the thing that they are saying that I did, but it's fucking stressful as hell.

Among other things, people seem to think all words with an overlapping semantic range are interchangeable, so you'll choose to use one that is specific to what you mean & then they substitute a different word with significantly different connotations & don't even seem to notice.

Show threadDave Alvarado
@artemis oh yeah, nuance is absolutely one of those things that allistic folks naturally filter out. It's on the long, long list of things that you notice that most people don't.
7:57pmWeb
Show threadDave Alvarado13h ago
@artemis oh and also...most of us have really bad vocabularies compared to you. Even when you're careful to choose exactly the right word, there's a chance your listener doesn't know the exact definition or connotations of that word.
Show threadArtemis8h ago
@dave
Oh yes, absolutely! I am aware I am hyperlexic, & I try not to expect people to match that. Nor are the connotations of a word universal, so communication is always a matter of trying to meet in the middle.