Mastodawn

Jesus Clarifies Return Will Be Strictly Limited To Carpentry Business. “My sole focus during this Second Coming will be various woodworking projects and not the establishment of a messianic kingdom.” https://theonion.com/jesus-clarifies-return-will-be-strictly-limited-to-carpentry-business/

Jesus Clarifies Return Will Be Strictly Limited To Carpentry Business

JERUSALEM—In an effort to soften the blow for a human race eagerly awaiting His glorious arrival, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, clarified Monday that His return would be strictly limited to His carpentry business. “While I will soon appear once more upon the earthly realm, My sole focus during this Second Coming will be […]

The Onion

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Jon Henshaw 1d ago

@kottke

The Good News is that carpentry shouldn't be affected by the AI apocolypse.

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Jared Brothers 1d ago

@kottke The New Yankee Testament

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Von Javi 1d ago

@kottke He probably has as many unfinished carpentry projects as I do.

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Level 98 🇺🇦1d ago

@kottke "The King of Kings went on to request that His followers not pray to Him unless they were potential clients reaching out for an estimate."

Such prayers will be accepted on 1800-JESUSHC.