Cat HicksI feel mastodon could do with learning some ring theory, folks, I do not need a bunch of replies telling me that no one will ever value my wife's work ever again in any way and that we should just give up. What the fuck is the point of saying this to me besides cruelty. Will and have blocked.
BigLinter
Michael W Lucas 
I never knew the name for this, thank you.
@mwl her original article about it is: https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/la-timeless/how-not-to-say-the-wrong-thing
How not to say the wrong thing
Have you ever said something crass you regret and wish you could take back? Millions of readers have learned this simple trick to avoid embarrassment and hurt feelings since it was first published in 2013. We’re republishing it as part of L.A. Timeless, a collection of classic pieces from the Times’ 143-year archive.
Michael Newton@[email protected] @[email protected] I've just also realised that this is exactly what the best bosses do, which I've always previously described as 'being the shit shield' but that's a, erm, less useful name in a professional context than 'applies ring theory in their management of the team'
Michael W Lucas :flan_on_fire: (@[email protected])
30.9K Posts, 356 Following, 7.19K Followers · Kvetching, not complaining. Writes books. Pet rats. Martial arts. Punch Nazis & terfs. If it wasn't on Industrial Records it's not industrial music, it's just sparkling noise. He/him. Bangpath old. Detroit, MI, US. Gelato!
Stefan Bohacek@grimalkina This is very helpful, thank you for sharing both links!
And I'm very sorry that you, and so many others, have to deal with this sort of thing.
ghost@grimalkina @mwl This is a very very useful concept for me to learn. Thanks for sharing!
The Psychotic Network Ferret@grimalkina Thank you for sharing this, I am finding it fascinating and useful already.
Also, I am sorry that people can be so cruel. Some people really do just suck.
Violet/Multi@nuintari @grimalkina Echoing this. Thank you for educating the same audience that just hurt you!
@[email protected] I love having a name for this concept, which I first met when some Chinese friends were horrified to learn that the immediate family normally handled funeral proceedings in the UK. "But... they're the ones most impacted! That's when everyone else is needed most."
Also: you (and by the sounds of things your wife) are standing strong even if this is a crappy timeline at the moment and that is awesome. There's a lot of us rooting for you, and hoping it gets less crappy soon, including adding some recognition for the people who are actually doing the hard work.
Tamir Bahar@grimalkina thanks! I never knew this had a name!
@grimalkina I just realized that I had a passionate discussion with a colleague yesterday about the importance of technical vocab and how we must teach it to our juniors, so that they can clearly and accurately describe their ideas; while at the same time, I haven't the vocabulary to discuss everyday social interactions.
@tmr232 this is one of my favorite things about psychology, I love when it names things we have experienced so deeply and gives us some tools for communicating about it
@grimalkina and you do incredible work making it more accessible and relevant for devs. Your Dev Thriving work was (and still is) extremely valuable and impactful for me.
Thank you!
Thank you!
Ron Jeffries@grimalkina
Very interesting, new to me.
I am hopeful that our current madness will abate, and that things will go better for you and your wife.
Very interesting, new to me.
I am hopeful that our current madness will abate, and that things will go better for you and your wife.