Emily Velasco
The crunchy granola lifestyle must not only be made unmarketable again, its adherents must become nuisances to the zoning department
Mar 28 at 4:22pmWeb
Show threadEmily Velasco1d ago

It's not enough to plant your own drought-tolerant landscaping and build your own vegetable beds. You must have things growing in stacks of old tires. You must have a yard bathtub full of soil and weeds. The trellis you painted bright colors all those years ago must be collapsing and falling apart.

Trade your hybrid for a weird old van with rust around the wheel wells and a bunch of junk in the back

Show threadApiary1d ago
@MLE_online I’m doing my part by growing lichen on my subaru.
Show threadEmily Velasco1d ago
@Apiary this is the way!
Show threadApiary1d ago
@MLE_online I need to find some old cable spools to turn into lawn furniture.
Show threadEmily Velasco1d ago
@Apiary I have one as a small table on my roof. I've been toting it around for at least ten years now.
Show threadApiary1d ago
@MLE_online as is traditional.
Show threadEmily Velasco1d ago
@Apiary I should look for a new one. It's reaching the end of its life now
Show threadbotvolution1d ago
@MLE_online @Apiary
I never took a picture of the extensive moss on my old golf that i scrapped last year, but here's some lichen on the driver's side door that i did. Take a picture of.
Show threadEmily Velasco1d ago
@botvolution @Apiary this is really very good
Show threadsmells of bikes1d ago
@MLE_online I have most of this accomplished.
Faded trellis
Hooptie car
Giant compost pit that the neighborhood dogs roll around in
Falling down partial fence
Show threadEmily Velasco1d ago
@smellsofbikes you do not have a hooptie car, but you're doing fine with the rest
Show threadsmells of bikes1d ago
@MLE_online You haven't seen it lately! More hoopty every day.
Show threadEmily Velasco1d ago
@smellsofbikes i do not believe you. This is hooptie stolen valor.
Show threadAI6YR Ben1d ago

@MLE_online @smellsofbikes

(random person off in the distance searches for "hooptie" on the Interwebs)

Show threadNilaJones1d ago

@ai6yr @MLE_online @smellsofbikes

I contend that my yard looks a lot tidier, now that I have tarps covering the giant piles of potentially useful junk, and the outdoor bath tub (which is definitely not clawfoot) is mostly hidden by vines

I even sometimes wash the algae off the vans in the driveway

I still get problems with USPS periodically refusing to deliver mail for 3 months at a time

Show threadsmells of bikes1d ago
@MLE_online One of the many things that appalls friends about the spitfire is how often I take a turn and you can audibly hear a ding ding ding ding as some metal bit falls off and bounces across the road. (It's mostly extra bolts and nuts that got dropped during assembly, but sometimes it's stuff that came off. I'm REALLY glad it has old coil suspension where the coil's held in separately, because I've lost all three shock mounting nuts one time.)
Show threadEmily Velasco1d ago
@smellsofbikes still not hooptie
Show threadPhilip Bragg1d ago
@MLE_online @smellsofbikes I have looked up the definition of hooptie and in my opinion Spitfires are, and more than that, they left the factory hooptie.
Show threadEmily Velasco1d ago
@synx508 @smellsofbikes you're going to prison for hoopty fraud with him, as a co-conspirator
Show threadsmells of bikes1d ago
@synx508 @MLE_online I have bicycles that cost more than it did, new, back when all it had was the factory supplied rust.
Show threadAdam K0FFY ☕️1d ago
@MLE_online @smellsofbikes My pickup truck briefly crossed the hooptie bar, but my wife made me get rid of it a couple of months later, because she thought having the kids hold the door closed when going around corners was a safety risk or something silly like that. The kids thought it was great, however, because being a passenger was a very active experience in several ways . We pretended to be flying a steampunk airship every ride, and I love those memories.
Show threadAdam K0FFY ☕️1d ago
@MLE_online @smellsofbikes My pickup truck briefly crossed the hooptie bar, but my wife made me get rid of it a couple of months later, because she thought having the kids hold the door closed when going around corners was a safety risk or something silly like that. The kids thought it was great, however, because being a passenger was a very active experience in several ways. We pretended to be flying a steampunk airship every ride, and I love those memories.
Show threadsmells of bikes1d ago
@k0ffy @MLE_online I had a jeep where every time we hit real water people had assigned places to put their feet so it didn't spray up into the passenger area as much. Similarly active passenger behavior.
Current car has all the large floor holes covered by pop riveted in aluminum sheet so I don't have to do that.