yes, i have an oral fixation (a fixation on getting head)
@cyb3rm0shp1t infohazardous post
@nyx with recent discourses on deranged hell sites, i had to make my stance on the matter clear. also my gf is great
@cyb3rm0shp1t why is there discourse about this >_>
@nyx terf radfems
@cyb3rm0shp1t @nyx did the department of redundancy department come up with that phrase, or do you have RAS Syndrome?
@Willow @cyb3rm0shp1t @nyx the only thing worse than terf radfems are the trans exclusionary ones 
@Willow @nyx @cyb3rm0shp1t @kittenlikeasmallcat y’all are joking but there are a ton of weirdos on fedi who think a terf can be a trans woman
@cmdr_nova @nyx @cyb3rm0shp1t @kittenlikeasmallcat bigotry is intersectional so yes they can. there are homophobic gays and Nazi pedophiles
@Willow @cyb3rm0shp1t @nyx @kittenlikeasmallcat if you’re calling trans women terfs you may as well just go join the incel crew of trans dudes pushing this narrative over on the instances they run

@cmdr_nova @Willow @cyb3rm0shp1t @nyx That's not to say that someone's being a trans woman immunizes her from 'being a terf' if she's habitually doing the things that make anyone a terf, right? I had that experience, and moved past it. Of course the proportion of this actually happening doesn't diverge in frequency from any other instance of a member of a marginalized population advocating pointedly against the liberation or survival of those who are also marginalized in the same ways.

It's one in a million, and trying to find it everywhere is fucked up transmisogyny but it's also unwise to categorically rule it out.

@Willow @cyb3rm0shp1t @kittenlikeasmallcat @nyx you can call me unwise, and I can call anyone making this judgment an idiot

@cmdr_nova @Willow @cyb3rm0shp1t @nyx Let's agree that something on the order of 0/10 of the trans women being accused of being a terf are terfs.

I just don't think that identity is a good ideological shield to use in any circumstance, especially for someone like who I was, who was freshly homeless and visibly transgender out of high school, uncritically reading certain radfem blogs as a way to cope and thinking that I'm somehow better than the other trannies. Me thinking I was immune from being 'one of the bad ones' in terms of radfem and in terms of transgender kept me from sitting down and thinking my way out of the contradiction. I'm still a full-on self-identifying radical feminist, but I'm not a terf anymore.

I don't think being any kind of marginalized means that it's impossible to promote and reproduce that marginalization. There are way too many examples of people doing that for that to be convincing, wouldn't you say?

@kittenlikeasmallcat @Willow @nyx @cyb3rm0shp1t trans people can be fascists, evil, etc, etc, but the only people calling trans women the same acronym as their violent oppressors are largely trans men who hate feminists and people who got into trans community discourse 2 years ago and felt like it’d be cool to enact some sort of authority of others
@cyb3rm0shp1t @nyx @kittenlikeasmallcat @Willow but, you compare a trans woman to JK Rowling for any reason I’m calling that person on their shit, because there’s always an ulterior motive behind those kinds of statements

@cmdr_nova @cyb3rm0shp1t @nyx @Willow Certainly, the whole framing of who is and isn't a this or that is just more identity noise, it's strictly immaterial. The point I'm trying to make is that terf is an ideology, and anyone, even it's victims, can pick up and play out their dinky nerfed self-defeating facsimile of that ideology. Indeed, cis women playing out transmisogynistic narratives are also in many ways, self-defeating. It's ultimately a behavior that makes the position coherent, and a system of narratives that cause that behavior to do some measure of harm in the world. Being outside of a position to effectively wield any power-over one's comrades doesn't nullify criticism of someone's adherence to the ideology.

Missing out on the thing you're naming, that ulterior transmisogynist thing most often underneath the process of qualifying some trans woman as a terf is madness. To a much lesser extent, I think that categorically claiming that a population can't be a member of an ideological group misses a rigorous analysis of the dynamics of the thing. I'm afraid that negating those claims in a blanket way, as though it can be applied evenly to every situation isn't as robust and effective as allowing the potential and looking at the concrete specifics.

@cmdr_nova @Willow @cyb3rm0shp1t @nyx I don't think I'm nitpicking, the point that "trans women can be terfs" isn't that crucial in and of itself. It's just one example of an identity-reliant critical methodology that in my opinion isn't good enough to rely on.
@cyb3rm0shp1t @kittenlikeasmallcat @nyx @Willow listen, I’m going to say this again, and I can’t write novels for you because I’m at work right now, but calling trans women “TERFs” is always transmisogyny, I don’t care what your reason is. Trans women do not possess the material social “power” (for lack of a better word) to “self oppress” or oppress their peers. Just look at this conversation, and all of the things that have happened to me over the past 15 years. I could come out swinging and say the worst things possible, but it wouldn’t hold any weight in reality because people don’t listen to trans women. Our struggles and pain are for us and us alone to deal with, and whatever fucked up thing some other trans woman might say is just a reaction to pain and despair, and that is not the same as being a fascistic radfem or whatever the trans bro circles are calling it

@cmdr_nova @cyb3rm0shp1t @nyx @Willow I don't want you to do something you can't do, I'm not demanding anything. I don't want novels. I don't even want you to spend more time reading my obsessively specific diatribes than is convenient for you. If you can't talk about this, then please do not do so, or pick it up when you can. I'll still say my piece. This isn't pressure. If now isn't a good time, I'll ask for the respect of you waiting until it is, please and thank you.

Again, I don't think framing it the way you seem to insist on framing it fundamentally works because strictly, claiming "This person is a something!" means nothing. I think this only matters when someone does something, reproduces, sustains, promotes, consumes, something. Lack of power, lack of effectiveness never stopped plenty of people carrying out their worldview in one way or another, to the best of their ability. Why put some arbitrary threshold on it? Anyone can "be" anything when it comes to the ideology they're following. Ideology consists of people following it. If some trans woman isn't a terf, it's because she's not doing what a terf does, not because she's immune or too disempowered. Framing it all as in is/isn't a terf misses what matters.

I have to type this disclaimer out again, because nuance in this context is dangerous: It's my position that when trans women are being accused of being terfs, this is typically just transmisogyny. The best way, in my opinion, to combat this is to say why they are not, not to simply claim that marginalized people categorically can't effectively act against, or join with those acting against their own self interest.

I'm not contradicting many of the points you're making. I can't convey how much I'm on the same page as practically all of what you're saying. Please don't try to put me in a box outside of and in contradiction to this. I'm telling you why I've come to a different conclusion that I feel is really important based on the same observations.

I'm frustrated because I don't think you're hearing me, and that's probably because you've got literal work going on that you have to pay attention to. When you're not otherwise occupied, I want to ask, what do you think I'm trying to say here, genuinely? Why do you think I'm saying it?