Void ChickenIve been watching the last season of outlander and its got me thinking about what time travel would actually be like
and I wrote a guide
the streets are mud and the mud is not mud. it is a melange of mud and animal feces and human feces because people throw their literal shit into the streets and their shit has hookworm larvae in it
you are getting hookworm. it's in the mud and the mud is everywhere and the larvae only need to find literally any of your skin
you're getting pinworms. everyone has them and no one is washing their hands so they're on everyone and everything all the time especially the food
you are getting lice immediately. everyone has lice. there is no escape from the lice
do not eat the meat. it has been at room temp since the animal was alive and also the animal had parasites
don't drink the water. the water has cholera. don't drink the milk. the milk is unpasteurized and came from a cow that also has parasites
you will be offered ale. the ale was brewed in conditions that would make a gas station bathroom look like an operating room. drink it anyway because the water is worse
the pork has trichinosis. they are not cooking to internal temperature because thermometers don't exist. it's worms. everything is worms. the past was just made of worms
your gut has lived its entire life in a refrigerated paradise. it is a sheltered indoor cat that has just been dropped in the woods. it will not survive
your body was built with high fructose corn syrup and microplastics. you are a corn syrup and plastic golem trying to run on turnips and oats. you will crash
in conclusion, if you travel back in time your best bet is to retreat to the mountains and become a hermit and throw rocks at anyone who comes near you
CyThat only applies if you travel back in time, and then try to live in a Roman/Assyrian style city. And even Rome had the aqueducts. People in 500 A.D. weren't reenacting Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The one thing you would PROBABLY notice is that everywhere was very sparsely populated and spread out, without a lot of migration going on. People basically died in the place they were born. Making transmission of disease quite difficult.
And mostly they overcooked the pork. That's what fire was invented for: killing parasites. Just because some people in the past implemented it in ignorance, because the Christians came throug and murdered all the local medicine women, doesn't mean we're living in some kind of goddamn paradise today. You know what people didn't have to deal with before this modern era? Mercury poisoning.
We're at the point we might see the eradication of all life on earth within our lifetimes, so don't talk to me about how grateful I should be that I live in such advanced modern times.
And mostly they overcooked the pork. That's what fire was invented for: killing parasites. Just because some people in the past implemented it in ignorance, because the Christians came throug and murdered all the local medicine women, doesn't mean we're living in some kind of goddamn paradise today. You know what people didn't have to deal with before this modern era? Mercury poisoning.
We're at the point we might see the eradication of all life on earth within our lifetimes, so don't talk to me about how grateful I should be that I live in such advanced modern times.
mivox is exhausted 
@cy So, I’m genuinely curious. Do you intentionally look for people posting silly things for fun just so you can shit on them?
Or do you assume everyone is Deadly Serious about everything they post, and you are just trying to help them become better Deadly Serious Commentators Of Reality?
What compels you to behave like this toward a total stranger?
armadillosoft