@JamminJerry Oh wow where is she going from there?

@pawpower she will be on the last leg of her trip taking an Uber, or Lyft to the apartment she will be living in here in Holt.

@JamminJerry Oh gosh, will it have furnature? Or does she have to take care of all that next? I imagine she's tired as hell about now huh?

@pawpower she will have to get some stuff, but she will be living with a friend of ours.

@JamminJerry Oh good glad someone will be there and show her around and stuff like that. Moving to a new city alone is an exhausting adventure. Lol I've done it. But it's fun too.

@pawpower @JamminJerry I've done moves to Florida, Denver and El Paso with no help. I do not miss those days. They were fun adventures but dealing with the logistics on my own was taxing and my last big move on my own I was dealing with my now everpresent chronic back pain. It was actually refreshing to have help for this last move back to Texas. I'm not even mad that I'm with my folks right now. I'd been through an ordeal when I moved and it was still fresh so having the support was something that was super helpful. I also look at it like this. If anyone ever is like you should do these things by yourself.... nope, I have nothing to prove, not anymore, at least. I've done multiple moves across the country by myself, I've done traveling on my own via busses planes and trains. The skills aren't lost, I'll have them for the rest of my life, so when the help was offered or is offered I'll take it these days in a way that doesn't strip my dignity from me :)

@MariahL @JamminJerry Yeah exactly. I moved to New Orleans from Idaho and from New Orleans to Memphis during a hurricane well I didn't move was evacuated but same thing. Strange city with my husband who was useless as tits on a bull. So i was basically alone only with a manchild. I'm probably going to leave New Orleans within the next 5 or so years and yes probably alone, not because I have something to prove but most people's help comes with conditions or prices I'm unwilling to pay. I mean I'll have movers, I'm willing to pay people in money, just not in my dignity or autonomy which seems to be the asking price for most kinds of help people want to give me.

@pawpower @JamminJerry I'm taking a trip to Colorado in two weeks or so to get the rest of my stuff from a friend whose keeping it for me as well as for a visit with my son and his dads. My mom is gracious enough to drive me, but I made a few things *very* clear about what I was allowing and what I wasn't. I said I'd help with gas food hotel costs, but I also said I was going to a dispensory partially for fun partially because I want and need some gummies for pain management. I also said I had another friend I wanted to see about meeting. I told her she could do what she wanted, but to leave me be to gallivant if I wanted to, if she wanted to be my transportation I'd accept that but no bitching about what I wanted to do. I told her she was going to respect boundaries that my son's dads put in place, oh it was a whole conversation. Would this have been something I could have said two years ago? no. But things have changed.

@MariahL @JamminJerry I hope you enjoy the trip, I didn't even know you had kids. I hope it's a wonderful time and that your mother respects your boundaries. It is hard to speak up about your boundaries with your birth family who raised you. I was taught that obedience, above all other virtues is the most important especially with parents. So when I got the chance I ran 2000 miles away so I could have a life of my own. Because in my family's culture, children, even adult children, aren't allowed to have boundaries with their parents. Now that I'm much older i have established boundaries and my family refuse to abide by them so I haven't seen them in 7 years and I likely won't see them maybe ever again because of this. I think it's awesome you've been able to make it work with your family.

@pawpower @JamminJerry One son and I found out basically when it was time to have him. I had a month to figure shit out, it was a whole mess. I had a time with my folks when I went no contact because they crossed a line of mine and the fact I actually went no contact I think surprised them a lot, but also so did my son. I handled everything and told my parents after the fact even though I could have used more allies in my corner.

@MariahL Wow thats a lot. I went no contact with my mother from 1999 until 2010. We text now and we do keep in touch. She has worked really hard on herself and has acknowledged her harmful abusive behaviors. I don't know that I can ever have the trust that most people have with their moms but I respect her a lot. She has worked very hard her whole life and continues to work on being a better person, I really respect that. My family all live in a very small town and the last time I was there, we were at a family party at my sister's house and my sister thought it'd be fun? Hilarious? A real kick in the pants? To let her very dog reactive pet dog out to attack my service dog. Not once, but at least 5 times. People kept putting the dog in a bedroom and my sister kept letting her out. I coulldn't leave because it was 108 degrees outside and there was no public transportation. so my boundaries are I will only see my family if they meet me in a city with public transportation, 24/7 transportation. I need to be able to call an Uber or hop on a bus to leave if I so choose. Nobody has been willing to do this and they expect me to go back to the tiny town where I grew up, where there is a tiny taxi service that may or may not be available and the bus, such as it is only runs 6 days a week and only until 5 at night. Nope not doing it again. I grew up with a lot of abuse and to a degree I'm used to it but you start abusing my dog and we're done.

@pawpower My folks live in a small town too, that's one of the things I hate about this arrangement, but I'm actively trying to figure out workarounds. Once I settle wherever that is, I'm not moving unless I have to. I've moved around a lot and I'm tired. Reading that makes me furious on your behalf. When I had my guide dog, everybody save my father was accepting of him... mostly but the fact my father wasn't actually affected our partnership. Admittedly I was younger then and clearly not ready and I was trying to prove that I was and I didn't know at the time how to not show my pup how stressed I was. When we weren't around my family he was such a good worker, but around my folks, I felt the judgement and little things he'd do would get called out. I knew he was trying his best and I know it was also my fault for not knowing how to manage my emotions better.

@MariahL It is really hard when people are negative about the dog and it absolutely can affect a partnership. I hope you can find a place to settle that you love and that works for you.