If you woke up a billionaire tomorrow, what's the first thing you'd do?

https://lemmy.world/post/44801219

If you woke up a billionaire tomorrow, what's the first thing you'd do? - Lemmy.World

Lemmy

I’d take my family and leave behind the shithole that is the United States. God, I hate it here.
Unfortunately, there are assholes everywhere.
Maybe, but at least other countries prosecute their rich and powerful when said rich and powerful person rapes kids. Also, every other developed country is able to ensure their government is funded while giving every person health insurance.
Pay my taxes and not rape children.
A low bar to be sure,but it could be worse.
It’s apparently one a lot of billionaires struggle with too.
Yeah, yah, that’s what they ALL say.
This should be the bare minimum response from everyone. If you can’t even clear this bar…you should not be allowed to participate.
Whoa, look at this communist, socialist person here! I bet they hate fascists too!
Turn myself in to a millionaire
technically if you woke up with $1 billion you can spend $1 and no longer be a billionaire, with $999 million
I have this dream of building my own little socialist company town. where like, instead of people scraping by, we all get universal healthcare and walkable, tree-lined streets.
I have had the exact same dream. I shall note your username in case any of my crazy ideas is ever profitable enough to start a company lol
Take notes from Bioshock and don’t build it underwater… And skip the whole genetic modification thing too, ig.
Is a man not entitled to the sweat on his brow?
He’d probably wonder why I was in his housr
“Good morning! I’m here to talk to you about UBI!”

Basically spend it all making militant resistance cells around the United States, enable them to operate independently via sourcing cnc machines, 3D printers, and hobbyist electronics, then provide financial incentives to targeting other billionaires’ assets or persons and/or hate groups and right wing think tanks.

This will continue until I’m arrested, run out of funds, or succeed.

…then I’d buy a sammich.

What kind of sammich?

Roast bitch ass billionaire.

But fr, probably a pastrami… Like a REALLY good pastrami.

Yes! “Make 2500 Luigis” is the best answer.
Huh? Luigi didn’t shoot that guy…
Start trying to figure out the best way to give away most of it.
Two thousand girls at the same time.
Go back to sleep

Triple-check that’s it’s real, make sure to secure it in multiple ways, then research charities so I can give most of it away. A couple of million € would already afford me all the luxuries that I could care about.

Not even sure what I’d actually spend money on that would improve my life. I seem to be accumulating medical issues that are difficult to diagnose, let alone treat; not sure that even a billion dollars would actually help much with that (we do have a somewhat sensible healthcare system in my country). I’d probably look into hiring some kind of personal assistant/caretaker/chauffeur, to improve my odds of actually making it to important appointments.

Buy back the politicians.

Buy up all the media outlets, especially Fox, and ACTUALLY turn them into progressive propaganda outlets.

Once actual progressives are in power, Lobby for government with the teeth to break up my big media empire monopoly and prevent a new one from forming.

Make a trust in each state to have local news outlets with good journalists.

Fund something to help find and stomp out propaganda bot/slave centers in other countries.

Lobby to regulate the fuck out of AI to stop its use as a programmable propaganda slop machine.

Guillotine myself. I can’t let myself be a hypocrite lol
Put out hit contracts on the other billionaires.
Completely squandering the endless possibilities of being the first billionaire with a soul

I am so boring I would stick it in my savings account and live off the interest.

OR take a few million and sponsor a Formula 1 team with a made up name and travel with the team for a year.

Buy a house far far away and leave this cesspool I currently call home.
Get me, my family, and my friends the fuck out of the US
These comments prove billionaires are hoarders with a mental illness. Nobody here is looking to make more billions.

True, but none of us have actually been tested. How many of us could taste real power and walk away?

The closest proxy is maybe lottery winners. Some invest, some fall flat on spending orgies. Almost none walk away.

Hire people to clean the house. White house.
What I do would be redacted here, but when I am done there would be no more billionaires.
It’s fine, this isn’t Reddit.

No, it’s not. Posts encouraging violence (or mentioning that they will kill X) is against the community guidelines…

Source:

But does that still result in a ban or just a warning?
From my experience, the comment is just removed. Nothing else.
Just a heads-up: Everything on the fediverse is 100% public, forever.
Even though it feels like a super-secret conspiratory club sometimes.
Get the fuck out of this country
It depends on which billionaire I’m supposedly waking up. Sounds like a shitty job though.
Hire a fukn lawyer D:
Probably cry from confusion as to how I became a billionaire??

99M in a trust fund for me, my immediate family, extended family and friends. We would live relatively modest and give generously.

901M would go to a wide assortment of charities and causes:

  • Fund my local foodbank for the next 50 years. Perhaps even a dynasty trust.
  • Tackle youth unemployment and unmet community needs through investing in non-market solutions. E.g. build greenhouses with raised beds in urban brownfield and greenfield property, hire local people to grow resilient local foods and donate them throughout the community. Some local old age homes had some complaints about food quality and budget and they wanted things like fresh ripe tomatoes. I’d given them 3 seasons worth for free and pay for the equipment, labour, insurance out of pocket. Local youth could get high school credits, jobs not just gardening, but designing and improve closed ag systems, plumbing, deep winter greenhouse design and engineering, logistics, everything. Good experience and spending money. Maybe turn into a market career for some.

Build a few multiplexes as high quality PassiveHousePlus and operate as self funded charity built and operated using only local labour:

  • womans shelter
  • homeless shelter

I have a few friends in social services and I guarenfuckentee a shitload of orphans and foster kids and poor kids supervised by children services would get new toys, clothes, shoes, bedding, pillows, christmas presents from a bad ass santa, art supplies, comic books, tuition, books, enrichment activity fees and more. Some have this through foster parents and public systems. Way too many don’t.

I can’t help everyone and even this money won’t last long, but Imma go out swinging hard.

Probably wake up.
go find where Musk is and beat the ever living fuck out of him, I’ll be able to access him easier with my billion dollars, after that just do shit to help my local community.
Call my accountant
The problem is that everything I’d want to do would be opposed by other billionaires worth hundreds of billions.
If you were smart with your §1b, you could make it grow and move against the other billionaires.
You’d never live long enough to grow your $1b into enough to worry someone like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, etc.
Something that a lawyer likely would tell me not to post on the internet.

Ask them why they won’t give their money to those in need?

I don’t know. I’m just surprised no one else read this sentence as though they were waking up some billionaire from their slumber.

Put him to sleep agai, with a brick.