I hate myself so much because I had to take my beloved Piki to his final journey to a vets office. Part of me wanted to get a vet to make a house call, so he could have stayed in familiar environment.
But in the end, I just couldn't do it. I knew that I could never feel at ease in my home, because I would always look at that spot while thinking "that is where he passed". I would have had to move, and my options regards to moving are currently limited, plus it's really hard to find a peaceful area where I feel safe.

But that doesn't help me, I still feel that I made his day a lot worse for him to give myself a bit more comfort. It feels so fucking selfish, and I hate myself even more than usually.

#petloss