Mastodawn

I hate myself so much because I had to take my beloved Piki to his final journey to a vets office. Part of me wanted to get a vet to make a house call, so he could have stayed in familiar environment.
But in the end, I just couldn't do it. I knew that I could never feel at ease in my home, because I would always look at that spot while thinking "that is where he passed". I would have had to move, and my options regards to moving are currently limited, plus it's really hard to find a peaceful area where I feel safe.

But that doesn't help me, I still feel that I made his day a lot worse for him to give myself a bit more comfort. It feels so fucking selfish, and I hate myself even more than usually.

#petloss

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Ash-Miw-Re 20h ago

@Lunalucardrose20 Doli passed in my kitchen while I was trying to arrange a euthanasia I couldn't truly afford and will always worry I could have avoided if I had been able to get employed sooner. I just hope she understood I didn't leave her in pain on purpose. It's been so hard. I'm both relieved for my own sanity I adopted a younger dog beforehand knowing I couldn't function without one, and sad for her worrying she felt replaced.

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Lilith, Mother of Darkness

@Ashmire I feel that pain, and I am so sorry that you had to go through that experience.
One of my first cats passed away so quickly in my home that I only just had time to get on the phone with a vet, but there was no time to even leave the house after that call.
I just had enough time to hold him in my arms and try to calm him down, before it was all over. I too hope that he didn't think I wasn't trying to get help for him.