Lilith, Mother of Darkness16h ago

I hate myself so much because I had to take my beloved Piki to his final journey to a vets office. Part of me wanted to get a vet to make a house call, so he could have stayed in familiar environment.
But in the end, I just couldn't do it. I knew that I could never feel at ease in my home, because I would always look at that spot while thinking "that is where he passed". I would have had to move, and my options regards to moving are currently limited, plus it's really hard to find a peaceful area where I feel safe.

But that doesn't help me, I still feel that I made his day a lot worse for him to give myself a bit more comfort. It feels so fucking selfish, and I hate myself even more than usually.

#petloss

Show threadGulleko16h ago
@Lunalucardrose20 We decided to let our cat Bacon go a year and a half ago, after he had a stroke. The alternative was putting him through months of rehabilitation and long car rides (he hated car rides) to the big animal hospital, and I'm still not sure if we made the right choice or not. I feel extremely guilty, but at the same time he was already 15 and how many more years would we even get and would they even be good years? All we can do is try our best. ❤️
Show threadLilith, Mother of Darkness16h ago

@Gulleko I feel you. Almost every decision I've ever had to make in these situations, I end up second guessing them. Even years later, I always think "maybe if I had made something differently, if I had been a better cat parent, maybe they would still be with me".  

And every single time, the thought breaks me.

My condolences about Bacon. 

Show threadGulleko16h ago
@Lunalucardrose20 Thank you  
We do the best we can to give them a good life, and sometimes that includes letting them go before we want them to go.
Show threadLilith, Mother of Darkness
@Gulleko That's what I try to think. I gave him a great life, and would have given everything I had to make it even a bit longer. So I try to think that I'm a good cat parent.
2:15amWeb
Show threadGulleko16h ago
@Lunalucardrose20 You are definitely a good cat parent, because you care. ❤️
Show threadLilith, Mother of Darkness16h ago
@Gulleko Thank you, those kind words do help. 💙