I wish I was never intimidated into following my impulses...
My dad intimidated me into them.
He'd yell "Answer me now" while I was still trying to think of the nice/polite/expected response.
He never gave me the time and silence I needed to make a choice.
Obey him or else.

PTSD therapy showed me that my dad, in general, made me angry.
And then therapist was like, what about dad made me angry?
Authority.
"Authority", is the core of just about all my trauma.

I need MY choice in my time.