Vissransomware except in addition to encrypting data it plays a 10 hour supercut of all yotubes worst jarjar binks impressions and zingers forever until they pay
ransomware except it turns on 2fa for you and doesnt give you the recovery email or codes til you pay
ransomware except it ioncube encrypts your wordpress blog and posts nothing but the most cringe, embarrasing memes from 9gag every hour til you pay
ransomware except it signs you up to every mailing list for every vendor at rsa with your personal mobile phone and resubscribes you every 24 hours using mail aliases til you pay
ransomware except it uses hacked openclaw instances and stolen elevenlabs api keys to text-to-speech all new posts on moltbook.com/m/blesstheirhearts, then call you in random intervals 1-15 mins and read them to you aloud on every platform, starting with discord, then signal, then teams then eventually going to mobile phone. then hires bike messenger types to come ring your doorbell and read them to you in person telegram style
ransomware except it just leaks the mailspools of the c suite instead of encrypting anything
jaKa Močnik@Viss tbh, I have recently adopted the position that turning most of the world's data into noise would not be a Bad Thing. :D
@Viss that said, ransomware except you can't get the decryption key, ever.