@gwynnion
Mine doesn't!

Because crying isn't masculine and showing emotions is failure and even alone in my home I cannot force myself to crack that and just feel emotions, I must abstract and distance.

@gwynnion
Yeah I've been trying. It's...difficult. I'd really like to cry, I htink, but instead it just kinda shuts me down when I think about it too much.

Lots of packages of selfhate/bad impulses.