Charlotteidk why I'm so scared of it, I still have yet to go retrieve my first dose of hrt meds from the pharmacy and it's kinda stressing me out... I'm kinda in the phase of wondering if I'm doing the right thing and if it will truly work out... I was at an event this weekend as my "old" self and realizing there's currently like 3 entities living 3 "separate" lives in my head ("old" self, Charlotte the "human" and Charlotte the "puppy" (line is truly blurry between those 2)) and realizing the Charlotte kinda only exists as an online concept? like sure, I'm not out to many people I care about (the people I know irl) but it's still kinda making me question if instead of the "old" self will transition into the Charlotte or if it will basically stop "kill it off" to become the Charlotte... this shit probably doesn't make sense...
aura@Charlotte no actually that makes a lot of sense. being out in some places and not others is weird especially when you're started being uncomfortable with the old but have imposter with the new. it can kinda feel like double-duty masking?
@aura it's even worse in my case as my brain can't see itself as the "new" self irl as it is stuck with a body that is closely tied with the "old" self for multiple years now and is gonna remain like that for multiple months if not years too... it truly feels like I'm just putting mask after mask after mask just to hide it so far down and just ends up with me questioning it even more...