Have US airports always been a concentrated dose of American dystopia or has it just been O'Hare and everything post-9/11? Somehow Security was not the most disturbing source of decay and horror. Or maybe it was and I'm just numb to it.
Apparently "Beats, Bites, & Flights" is the new "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves"
Encounter a wild techbro in the airport? Don't worry - contact one of Austin Bergstrom Airport's Techbro Control Specialists who will bait one of our specially constructed techbro live traps with Claude tokens, capture, and harmlessly release the techbro at one of our server farms upstate
Away from your sterile metallic Skinner Box condo? Need coffee but can't bear the thought of "interacting" with other "people" who might have a "personality" and subject you to "conversation"? Obtain coffee from one of our emotionless robot baristas - just like Wire Mom used to make!
Denver Airport, presented without comment.

@arclight Alt text is incomplete. Part B: huge image of men’s underwear. One side is red and white stripes, the other is blue with white stars. In between…is a bald eagle’s face.

(All American drawers for the man who isn’t afraid of his family jewels causing hysterical laughter.)