James Hollis on finding the other in oneself.

"This fantasy of the other in whom we can submerge ourselves and return to the source is the chief fuel of regressive behaviours, whether they be romantic fantasies, drug addiction or over-identification with a group or ideology. What is not clear here . . . is that the other must also be found in oneself.

Finding the other in oneself involves a dialogue which may impede or improve the quality of relatedness to the outer other. Our romantic ideologies seek the other for completion and wholeness, and yet at the same time carry the seeds of annihilation. Failing to find the other in ourselves, to experience our own unfolding mystery, our quirks, our shadow, our complexes, neuroses and aspirations, is to fail to find the most interesting relationship of all. We always remain a mystery to ourselves, so we have a life-long agenda for growth and development. Whoever is bored has not yet awakened to the large drama that courses within."

— James Hollis, On This Journey We Call Our Life

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