Mastodawn

I’m so old I remember reading the ingredients on the shampoo bottle because my brother took the bathroom joke book with him after pooping.

I’m so old I remember grabbing The Onion from the free dispenser outside my apartment building.

I’m so old I get a PSA test annually and need to schedule a colonoscopy

I do regret not ordering the matching embroidered “Face” and “Ass” towels from an ad in The Onion when I had a chance.

I thought you meant an actual onion and wondered who puts onions in a dispenser like they were gumballs.

Gawd, I HATE onions, but I have observed that many humans love them so much, that I believe a coin-operated Onion dispenser would be a huge success.

But like I said, I DESPISE onions, so my understanding of the human adoration for Onions may be poorly calibrated.

Are you a robot?