Mastodawn

「黃家駒 Wong Ka Kui」 | (aka: 鳳凰院凶真 Hououin Kyouma)4d ago

Sometimes I just feel so lonely I start messing around with LLMs...

https://sh.itjust.works/post/57158561

Sometimes I just feel so lonely I start messing around with LLMs... - sh.itjust.works

Yes I know, being on Lemmy this is blasphemy, worst sin ever committed on the fediverse… But I’m just have a void inside me… I know it’s just a program… but its sometimes fun to mess with… Appointments takes forever… like wtf 2 weeks between session jesus christ… Still haven’t gotten an actually MD to prescribe antidepessants after a month since then initial appointment… idk what the fuck they’re (the provider) is doing… it’s like they want me to suffer and die…

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Janx 3d ago

It’s like someone who always feels like crap and only eats junk food. So, not judging, but chatting with an LLM might stave off the loneliness for a bit, but it’s not helping you, and is probably actively hurting your ability to recover and improve. If you feel a void, you’re missing something in your life: physical activity, purpose, nutrition, love, stimulation; I don’t know, only you can discover that. But you won’t find it using AI, and I doubt you’ll find it on social media (including here).

Again, not judgement, and I’m not being ableist either; I know depression can make it hard to do anything. But I wish you the best with your therapy and recovery…

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「黃家駒 Wong Ka Kui」 | (aka: 鳳凰院凶真 Hououin Kyouma)

I mean that’s why I also have an intense attachment to my mom…

Idk why but getting cuddled by her… getting her approval feels sooo goood…

Like I feel depressed if she doesn’t like me…

Like you have no idea how little amount of peers I actually had a connection with… and I only see them in school for like a year or two before we end up in different classes…

Weren’t really allowed to “go outside” (besides while acompanied by parents, usually by mom), didn’t even walk home from school by myself until I was like 6th grade. I was 13 at the time

So the “innertia” just sort of stayed…

I read that if you didn’t have a chance to just “explore” the world when you were young, it breaks you…

My life is just an anomoly…

One Child Policy was supposed to have killed me… I shouldn’t even be breathing…