Lesbian Death Bed3d ago
1
James Patterson: hi i'm james patterson
Patterson: you might remember me from such book as 'Dial D for Danger' and 'In the Realm of the Electric Medusas'
Patterson: today I've got an even more exciting story for you
Patterson: i'm teaming up with Mr Beast
King:
Poe:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Show threadLesbian Death Bed
2
King: Mr Beast the guy who makes those deadly youtube prank challenges?
Barker: how do you know about mr beast steve
King: oh i think joe mentioned him
King: you know how kids are
King: they love their deadly youtube prank challenges
Mar 20 at 3:14pmWeb
Show threadLesbian Death Bed3d ago
3
Patterson: yeah i met with mr beast and i thought wow this kid really has some incredible ideas for a book, i think we should collaborate
Patterson: i think a collaboration would be a mutually rewarding and artistically invigorating experience
Patterson: he also gave me this big bag of money
Show threadLesbian Death Bed3d ago
4
King: are you sure it's safe to go to the mr beast compound?
King: they say that writers go in, but they don't come out
Patterson: not to worry
Patterson: the authorities are under orders to come looking for me if i go 20 minutes without releasing a new book
Show threadLesbian Death Bed3d ago
5
[at the Beast compound]
Patterson: mr beast? sir? it's me
Patterson: james patterson
Patterson: you might remember me from such books as 'Escape of the Giant Scientist' and 'Operation: Negative!'
Patterson: remember we were going to collaborate on a book about people forced to endure a gauntlet of deadly challenges?
Show threadLesbian Death Bed3d ago
6
Mr. Beast: [speaking through jigsaw puppet on a tricycle] so mr patterson
Patterson: what's going on?
Mr Beast: to escape my dungeon keep, you must solve my riddles three
Mr Beast: before the timer reaches zero
Mr Beast: and the room fills with poison gas
Patterson:
Show threadLesbian Death Bed3d ago
7
Patterson: let me out! help! help!
Mr Beast: there is no escape, Mr Patterson
Mr Beast: they say you write really fast, mr patterson
Mr Beast: but how fast can you really write?
Mr Beast: before you, you will find all the materials you need to write a complete-
Patterson: done
Mr Beast:
Show threadLesbian Death Bed3d ago
8
Mr Beast: what
Patterson: i'm done
Patterson: i just wrote 'Jack Fell Down and Broke His Crown,' 'Operation: Edelweiss' and 'They Saved the President's Brain.'
Mr Beast: you wrote THREE books???
Patterson: actually, i wrote a fourth in the time it took you to react
Patterson: i call it 'Hello Operator? get me... ADVENTURE!'
Show threadLesbian Death Bed3d ago
9
Mr Beast: you wrote 4 books?!?!
Patterson: actually now i've written 8
Mr Beast: my god
Mr Beast: he's like some unholy union of mercedes lackey and william f johnstone
Show threadLesbian Death Bed3d ago
10
Patterson: it looks like i'm trapped
Patterson: i better call for help
Patterson: because when you have a problem and no one else can help
Patterson: and if you can find them
Patterson: maybe you can hire
Patterson: the A Team
Patterson: [dialing phone] hello, clive custler?
Show threadLesbian Death Bed3d ago
11
Clive Custler: hello this is clive custler, big money ru$lta
Custler: i was just chilling on my derelict battleship, with my gang of elite libertarian commandos
Show threadLesbian Death Bed3d ago
12
Patterson: clive! you've got to help me!
Custler: don't worry james
Custler: no job is too big
Patterson: i've been captured by mr beast
Custler: new phone who dis
Show threadIsabel Ruffell3d ago

@bitterkarella

Of course NUMA would have been gutted by Trump ...

I'll get my mini-submarine ¦(or would if I had any funding).

Show threadLAUREN3d ago

@bitterkarella

🎬 👏 👏 👏

Show threadThird spruce tree on the left3d ago

@bitterkarella

> if i go 20 minutes without releasing a new book

LOL