Yeah, Lemmy seems to have a misogyny problem, and it’s really sad to me, and even seems unnecessary (like, it’s one small step from the community’s otherwise general egalitarian views to also include gender egalitarianism; you would think self-described leftists would be more feminist and less misogynist).

I completely hear you about men being creepy, denying your experience, assuming you know nothing and talking down to you, etc.

I also hear you about how Nazism and other right-wing ideologies attract predominantly men - it’s not just you, it’s actually backed by the data, particularly young women are far more likely to be left-leaning and young men are far more likely to be right-leaning.

I tend to think this has more to do with influencers and who is targeting young men as a demographic than anything inherent in the ideology (though maybe it’s easier to use right-wing arguments to appeal to men’s insecurities and frustrations than left-wing ones, I don’t know). In general I tend to think people are irrational in their religious and political views and find it easy to rationalize acceptance of an ideology or religion that victimizes them (e.g. see women and Christianity).

I intuitively understand what you’re saying about trans men being better and this being a cis man problem (because I think trans men often can be better, maybe due to their past), but in the end they’re dudes like any other, and there are plenty of toxic trans men. For example, a significant portion of the detransitioners and anti-trans activists are trans men, just off the top of my head: Buck Angel, Chloe Cole, Sage Blair, and Aaron Kimberly are all trans men (or “ex-trans”) who are conservative anti-trans activists. So while my personal experience IRL with trans men are mostly positive, I think we should remain aware that trans men are just as capable of being toxic, and at the end of they day they too are just men.

Yeah, the misogyny problem on lemmy is annoyingly bad

On trans men they’re men who happen to be trans. I love so many of my brothers in transness. But also I’ve had my fair share of trans guys just being guys, especially when the topic of transmisogyny comes up. And like, ultimately, that’s also how I feel about cis men in general as well. I acknowledge that the offering of patriarchy for the average cis man is a raw deal, I acknowledge that life’s rough for everyone and many cis men are awesome and many people who aren’t suck. But sometimes I need spaces away from men, and it can be very easy to extend that to resentment.