bug // juneanother ancient digital painting, this was done in cdg, my first painting app that i coded from scratch in C (tho, I think I used SDL, so not technically scratch)
intuos2, cdg (unreleased), 2012ish
eclexic@theeclecticdyslexic yeah i do actually, i got it to run recently but had to retire that pc because it had been afflicted by heartbleed for about 200 years. i wish i had archived more of my code but might be able to find or recover it on another device. it was a very minimal yet highly configurable and ergonomic tool with gestures, smooth zoom, rotations, blending and softness, in about 2k loc maybe. custom math functions for the 2d/3d and gpu painting
@bug that might be a cool way to get people interested in your art, if you stream making it in cdg!
@theeclecticdyslexic that'd be neat, unfortunately i havent had a job in over 5 years, many of my computers are broken now, and I lack the energy and safety to repair. I could reconnect the PC, but first I want to pack all my shit in case I actually can get a job and gtfo this hellish situation lol.
I seriously miss my tools, I miss my life, I miss working, I miss having dignity, I miss not being in a gaslight abuse situation, I miss having hope for future, I miss a lot of my dead friends :\
@bug keep trying, I think you will find refuge and a way back to a more peaceful life. 🙂
@theeclecticdyslexic thank you and thank you for your guidance. I have simply been switching gears on my artmaking so long in a desperate attempts to change anything at all about my situation, but it's all felt in vain. I even reinvent math in several ways, solve primes etc, nothign change.
@bug I think focusing on one thing at a time is the best bet.
Job
Safer shelter
Make new friends
Strengthen your mind and body
Work on presenting yourself well, so it doesn't scare people off. It can be scary to hear about all the stuff you told me. Many people are scared open people are too open, because they think it means you are trying to trick them.
I don't know what is true, but I do know what it's like to feel invisible. In my case I realised my choices were forcing invisibility on me.
@theeclecticdyslexic If people can't handle my vitriol maybe they should consider the fact that I have been continuously abused within fascist capitalist genocide and repeatedly drugged, raped, and harmed by felons and other untoward sorts, including my family, but also I understand what you mean, however I am fucking livid, however I know exactly what you mean, however I am fucking dying lmao. I get it though and you're right, but fjdksfjalkd
@bug I don't think you are wrong. I mean only to suggest what I think gives you the best odds of success!
@theeclecticdyslexic I know what you say is true, however I begged for respect and opportunity for about twenty years amidst all my talents. I did not know myself then, and was granted many opportunities I did not know how to handle gracefully, nor did I know how to manage my health well then, and so I have been in a pit of death and suffering for many years now. It's abysmal, but I know. People want some fake ass shit and roses. Truth be told I have tried every approach, so
Someday who knows
@theeclecticdyslexic aight, I will make some motivational posi works in a simplistic style using this laptop or some paper because despite my combative nature in my writing in english, I actually gained a lot of social skills over my years, and know well how to be kind and to teach self-care and kindness. This will simply have to be a focus of mine when I have time between resting my spine, meeting bodily needs as quick as possible, sleeping, and packing heh. Thank you again. I know it's true.