Just one trans woman's opinion, but I hold that the ideal way to recover from accidentally misgendering a person and being called out is to simply repeat the sentence, corrected. No apologies (or just a quick "sorry" or "pardon" if it flows), no justifications. It happens. We get it. Nobody's looking to shame anyone, only correct a mistake before it perpetuates.
A: "And then he told me that he wanted to..."
B: "They"
A: "And then they told me that they wanted to meet me at this coffee shop..."
@Tattie This is what I try to do.
We've got a trans kid, and after 18 years of he, him, we have to change and ITS HARD. Anyone who says it's easy to a parent needs to give us some slack. 18 years of training, daily usage. it's not gonna happen overnight.
We're actively trying though. We are honestly trying. I actually found it easier to go to They/Them first, then start working towards she/her. I can mostly get they right, she is a longer stretch.
I support my trans kid, full stop.
@Sablebadger after I came out as trans to them both, the difference between how my mum spoke about me and my dad did was really night and day. Both of them struggled, but you could see my mum getting it more and more often, and caring whether she did or not. "I've been practicing", she said to me once, and it was clear she had been— she gendered me correctly more often than not that day.
My dad... he only gendered me correctly when specifically prompted, and then would return to he/him the very next sentence. It was clear that it was me correcting him which bothered him, not him getting it wrong. I gave up, eventually, and by the time he passed away he still didn't "get" my transition or my pronouns.
But coming up to five years of transition now, my mum is one of my best allies, and genders me correctly consistently. I honestly expected it to take more time, but I'm overjoyed at how it's turned out.
@Tattie ironically I'm a little better at it than my wife, but we're both in full support.
It's hard to see your child struggle with their identity, but we made it clear from the first moment they came out to us in middle school that we loved then no matter what.
It's a lot. But we're in it together.
Tattie
Sablebadger