Overall, I really liked #Pillion, but there are definitely things that the movie could have done better. I’m really glad that a movie like this exists: it portrays some pretty extreme power exchange situations in a non-judgemental way that feels (fairly) realistic, showing the deep joy, connection, and community that it can bring. However, the relationship was also deeply unhealthy, and I fear that an audience without knowledge of BDSM might see the movie as approving of it.

Ray (the dominant) is a deeply flawed character, and it made me SO FRUSTRATED to see his total disinterest in any sort of meaningful communication. The movie is told from the perspective of Colin (the submissive); he, and by extension the audience, never learn any personal information about Ray whatsoever, not even what he does for work.

At the start of the movie, Colin is openly gay but has no experience with relationships of any sort, let alone power exchange. Ray decides to take on Colin as his submissive, and Colin is swept up in the excitement of this attractive man paying any attention to him at all. The things that Ray does to Colin are frankly unethical, including sex that is very nearly rape. But inexperienced Colin accepts all of it, adapting to his new position without question.

Through this relationship, Colin grows as a person: learning more about himself, finding joy in his submission, discovering his needs and his limits, building the fortitude to enforce those limits. By contrast, Ray barely grows at all. Every time Ray tries something outside of his comfort zone, he quickly decides that he doesn’t like it and retreats, no matter who he hurts by doing so. His cowardice made me so fucking angry.

If I had to categorize Pillion, I’d say “coming of age” probably makes the most sense: Colin’s growth as a person is the main driver of the action. I would also say “rom-com” as a secondary category: there are many hilarious moments, often sparked by Colin’s bumbling British mannerisms colliding with Ray’s inflexible dictums. The movie was definitely a turbulent mix of emotions, although my anger at Ray made it harder for me to connect with the other emotions.

Towards the end of the movie, the relationship ends very abruptly — an interesting choice, and not one I expected. But I wish they had included a scene to show Ray’s state of mind afterwards, without Colin present; without that, there’s a certain lingering note of doubt that perhaps Colin was the cause of the relationship falling apart, and in this case that feels to me like victim-blaming.