「黃家駒 Wong Ka Kui」 | (aka: 鳳凰院 凶真 Hououin Kyouma)5d ago

My mom tells me if I take medications for depression, I'm gonna end up relying on it even in old age... I mean I guess the alternative is being unmedicated and dying young lmao...

https://sh.itjust.works/post/57032948

My mom tells me if I take medications for depression, I'm gonna end up relying on it even in old age... I mean I guess the alternative is being unmedicated and dying young lmao... - sh.itjust.works

Original wording (Cantonese): "你一食葯就会食到老嘅啦“ (Once you start, you will need to continue till you get old (aka: till your death)) Oh okay mom… “唔食藥而家死咗就唔使到老囉” (If I don’t get medicated, I die now and no need to get old) (didn’t actually say it, but really want to) This culture is gonna kill me 😭

Show threadlIlIlIlIlIlIl5d ago

Does Mom wear glasses? She shouldn’t, she’ll rely on them forever.

Does Mom wear a jacket when cold? She shouldn’t, she’ll rely on one forever.

Does Mom wear shoes…?

Show thread「黃家駒 Wong Ka Kui」 | (aka: 鳳凰院 凶真 Hououin Kyouma)5d ago

Oh she keeps talking about “side effects” of medications…

I guess she’ll find out real soon the “side effects” of depression (like having to attend a funeral of your son who loved you)

Show threadlIlIlIlIlIlIl5d ago

There is so much to life beyond this. So much that this will seem insignificant, maybe even silly.

I truly hope you make it there, and stop living for someone else

Show thread「黃家駒 Wong Ka Kui」 | (aka: 鳳凰院 凶真 Hououin Kyouma)5d ago

Logically I want to live

Emotionally I have an attachment to my mom (plus finanical dependence)

Emotions are irrational

Attachment is irrational

Its a chemical

Just like depression

I don’t think free will exists

If the chemicals in my brain are telling me to jump off a bridge… there’s no way for me to stop it…

its just chemical…

You can’t tell a computer to “just don’t fucking shut down, stay booted”, when you deleted system32, when systemfiles are corrupted…

Show threadlIlIlIlIlIlIl5d ago
Have you exercised today? If not get off the internet and do it now
Show thread「黃家駒 Wong Ka Kui」 | (aka: 鳳凰院 凶真 Hououin Kyouma)

Aaaah no energy

I like to do “chill” stuff like just slowly walking in a park… but um… the sun is already setting so maybe tomorrow (it’s now 18:52)

Don’t wanna get abducted in the dark lol…

Takes a lot of energy to just put on clothes and go outside… germophobia… to anxious of ourside…

Wait wtf why do I wanna die and also germophobic…

wtf brain.exe? So I’m afraid of dying and wanna die? The fuck?

Mar 18 at 10:54pmWeb
Show threadTrackinDaKraken5d ago
Sounds like you don’t want to die, you just don’t want to live the way you’re currently living. But, don’t listen to me, I don’t jack from shit.
Show threadJax4d ago
Do you have anyone besides your mother and online friends to interact with on a regular basis? People you like to be around, I mean?