Ricki Yasha TarrOkay, question. If you were a Dad taking your daughter to a male/female public restroom situation, what did you do? Which restroom did you take her in?
Factress
J.D. MacLeod 🇨🇦@RickiTarr it's been over 30 years since I did this but I took her into the men's
RalfMaximusWhen she was very small (2yo) I'd take her in the men's room and prayed they had a changing table. It was a 50/50 situation.
When she was mostly toilet trained I'd take her with me into the men's & we'd try for the wheelchair accessible stall.
When she was fully able to go by herself I'd let her use the women's unattended, and I'd lurk outside the entrance. If she too more than 10 minutes I'd ask somebody entering to "please check on my daughter". Half the time she'd be singing.
@ralfmaximus @RickiTarr I dig all this
Mike Ely@ralfmaximus @RickiTarr ah man, those are not fun memories. I was a single dad. My mental map of all the "one-holer" restrooms in town was extensive.
Faraiwe@ralfmaximus @RickiTarr I believe this describes the "dad with young daughter looking for restroom" experience, yup
Я⊛ḶḶ model ☭the question, ladies, is would you rather have a father see you washing your hands, or have his daughter catch a glimpse of some urinal action?
i certainly don't know what the right answer is, or if there even is one. i have too many penises.
Skean Harshly KC1WKV@ralfmaximus @RickiTarr thanks for writing this so I didn't have to. Same for me less the singing.
ChloChloaca@RickiTarr lol at these comments not realizing the underlying implications here. 🤦♀️
Rusty ScrapTangle@RickiTarr Dad always took me to the girls' room but Dad could get away with it. My dad radiated huggable teddy bear-ness. Everyone loved him and everywhere he went multiple people would greet him by name. So not sure if this is exactly usual.
K4-713 
@RickiTarr Beginning to think my dad spent some extra time making sure this never came up.
(That was the 80s)
(That was the 80s)
ZenHeathen 🇨🇦@RickiTarr I'm an adult male, so there's no way I'm walking into the Ladies', and it shouldn't even be a question. Yes, urinals exist in a Men's room, but nobody's waggling it about, and she'll be perfectly safe with me right there.
jeff@RickiTarr most restrooms where I live have a gender neutral / family restroom. if this was not available, I always took my daughter into the mens and it was never an issue.
Burnt Veggies@RickiTarr My oldest went into the men's restroom w/ me if I was present or into the ladies' restroom w/ my wife, if she was. Same with my two younger kids who were AFAB. At least until they were old enough to go on their own. Then I made sure they used the buddy system. My middle child is now trans male and my youngest is non-binary. As far as I know the youngest still uses the women's restroom in public. My middle child probably hasn't used a public restroom since transitioning.
wil@Burnt_Veggies restrooms are so fraught! My daughter transitioned ~7 years ago and I only recently learned about some of the anxieties she still has around them. I go with her whenever I can.
ewan@RickiTarr When i was younger, my mum (yes i'm flipping the genders) would take me either into the female's or the disabled toilet.
i tend to go for the disabled toilets as they are generally cleaner in my experience and i need to sometimes use the handles to lift myself up.
i tend to go for the disabled toilets as they are generally cleaner in my experience and i need to sometimes use the handles to lift myself up.
Geoff Coffey@RickiTarr When they were very little, into the men's. When they were big enough (maybe 6? can't remember) send them into the women's and wait outside. Women are very good about helping in this situation in my experience.
JJ@RickiTarr
Assuming you mean at the age where her handling it all herself isn't going to work. The men's room with me of course.
Assuming you mean at the age where her handling it all herself isn't going to work. The men's room with me of course.
E. C. Bigribs@RickiTarr The answer evolved over time and under specific circumstances. I seem to recall once I went into the women's room because that's where the changing table was, but I was very loud and specific about what I was doing (and there was nobody in there anyway). I used the changing table in the men's room when there was one. Once diapers were done, I'd take her into a stall in the men's room. First couple of times, I stayed in the stall with her to make sure she was comfortable, then I'd wait outside. Then, at a certain point, I'd walk her to the women's room and wait outside. Only once did I have to ask a stranger to check if the unattended kid was ok (she was using/playing with/learning about the soap dispenser, IIRC)
Bill Ricker@eedly @RickiTarr
Very familiar.
(It's nice seeing changing tables in Men's and Family/♿/Assisted rooms everywhere now, but they were quite scarce when I was changing diapers.)
Very familiar.
(It's nice seeing changing tables in Men's and Family/♿/Assisted rooms everywhere now, but they were quite scarce when I was changing diapers.)
lxskllrDiapers? I'd find a quiet place, and change her on a blanket. No bathroom. When she was old enough to not need diapers, she'd go to the women's room, and I'd stand outside. If I had use to the bathroom, she'd stand outside and wait for me.
It never happened(that I remember), but if I were some place I really didn't trust, I'd have brought her into the men's bathroom with me.
In the woods, we'd use the woods.
Tim Ward ⭐🇪🇺🔶 #FBPE@RickiTarr There's that, but there was also taking to the loo my two boys, who when they were small sometimes wore white frilly princess party dresses (their big sister had a party dress so they insisted on having them too).
James Baker 🍁@RickiTarr Like a lot of foax, into the room I would go in, until they were comfortable going in another by themselves. As for so many things (except vegetables!), I figured they should decide…
Lulu Helle 
@RickiTarr my dad refused point blank to do anything for me that would be classified as woman things. I had to navigate a lot on my own without support.
The Witch of Crow Briar@crowbriarhexe @RickiTarr i would bite my tongue so hard, each time he would boast to his friends that he had to be both a mother and father to me. Total fantasy. He wasn't even really a father. More like a sad sack of excuses.
@LuluHelle @RickiTarr awww, I’m so sorry dear *tight hugs*
Stéphane Charette 🇨🇦@RickiTarr Can you imagine what would happen if we (men) tried to go into the women's washroom!? I'd be worried I would be attacked or arrested.
Was much simpler to bring my daughters into the men's washrooms and changerooms (thinking back to the pool days).
Kiba@RickiTarr i really think this just highlights how absurd gendered bathrooms are. why is it appropriate for a mother to take her son into the women's bathroom, but not vice versa? if we're citing assault or perv concerns, surely taking your daughter into the men's ought to be just as much of a worry. gender is a scam to sell more bathrooms. just give people a space to do what they gotta and make changing tables accessible to everyone, ffs.
Robert Watkins@RickiTarr on more than one occasion, I took her into the female restroom. Because that was the one that had the change table.
In the interval between being toilet trained and still needing to be supervised, I took her into the men’s. By about age 5, I’d take her to the female restroom and wait outside.
Reddog@RickiTarr I would take her into the women's restroom. As all women's restrooms are WCs ( water closets ) with no urinals. there's no privacy issue...
TiggyI went into a public toilet at a beach some years ago to find a child crying in a locked cubicle and women shouting instructions to unlock the door.
There was a big enough gap at the top to climb over, but I wasn't that athletic.
So I went out, called over a male friend, dragged him in, and he climbed over to let her out.
Her father was outside, oblivious.
If I'd stopped to think, I may have thought twice about taking a man in, but I didn't.
Chris “Emergent-C” Vreeland@RickiTarr Depends on the age! If she can wipe/dress herself, I will be here outside the women’s room door. So I guess about 3 or 4? Before that she went in the men’s room with me into a stall.
This seems totally normal?