What made you choose to go through with it in the first place?

What makes you miss it now? What is it about then vs now that you miss?

I was told by people I know and in support groups that it was the next stage and that if I didn’t I wouldn’t ever feel like a real woman. I was told that I would be seen as a man by others and that I could be assaulted by people I meet and hook up with. I don’t really know, I guess I believed the shit people told me and thought it was the right thing to do. It was not.

I miss peeing while standing up. I miss… (People will think I’m a troll for this)

I miss jacking myself to porn. Touching myself in general down there. Feeling myself down there, jiggling my balls. Things I took for granted back then. I also hate dialating, I haven’t done it at all in the past 2 months. It just feels so gross to stick something inside me. I don’t even care if this rotten hole closes up. It’s not like they can fix it or put it back how it was.

I miss just having it in general. Seeing myself with a dick back then I never thought anything of it, but seeing myself with this disgusting hole in my crotch just makes me want to vomit, and always makes me cry. I look so disgusting, I know other people don’t think I would look disgusting if they saw me naked but I look disgusting to myself with a vagina. I hated it so much that I ended up breaking my bedroom mirror out of anger, sadness, and disgust. Tore a 2 inch gash in my hand doing that.