Mastodawn

St Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland, the evidence for this being that there are no snakes in Ireland that are not owned by zoos or goths.

In the same way, St Patrick must have driven the moles out of Ireland, because there are no moles. Maybe he was a golfer and they ruined the greens.

Anyway, hardware chain B&Q apparently did not know this and stocked sonic mole repellers in Northern Irish stores for years, where they never sold.

DIY retailer B&Q is recalling sonic mole repellers from its Northern Ireland stores - because the mammals do not exist in Ireland.

@Nickiquote this is wonderful but my 21st century takeaway is a mild surprise that they didn't release hundreds of moles to "develop the market".

@celeduc I wonder what the people who introduced non-native grass snakes and slow worms were thinking.

Trying to control non-native grass with snakes strikes me as risky, ecologically speaking.