I and a bunch of friends were staying at a criminally badly run rented forest cottage somewhere in Lapland. Criminally quite literally, it was very negligent and terrible because it was an exploitative and money laundering operation by the local rented cabins and AirBnB mafia!
Eventually someone called the lads on us, and then we were running away through cellars and the snow and such because who knows what they were going to do to us, but the four rough looking men caught up anyway. Two of them had dogs, and they were restless.

Me, suddenly overcome by Presence of Dog: "Oh, sweeties, it's okay! It's okay! Are you rattled because you did such a good job of tracking us and didn't get thanked or treats yet! Good dogs!"
One of the men discreetly and subtly gives his lovely Finnish Spitz some treats from a pocket, dead silent. The other man is also silent, but instead drags his barking German shepherd to his flank by the collar. I instantly deem this first man probably not a bastard and the second man almost certainly a bastard. This second man and his two friends no longer existed to me except as vaguely threatening background noise. Dog!

The rest of my friends then worriedly looked on as I started telling the Spitz what a good dog it was while not trying to touch or get closer, and started asking what its name was and so on.

I swear, I'm even more like this when I'm asleep! 😆