Can't guarantee I'll make it through this one. Hercules was kind of an exception to my typical "no period pieces/no Greek/roman stuff" rules #monsterdon

maybe dont go around announcing you're going to dethrone the king around a bunch of the kings men and whatnot #monsterdon

how come this dude is wearing a bag #monsterdon

dude you want to pick people based on how good of sailors they are not... whatever this is #monsterdon

the costume department is like "hmm what did ancient guys wear, probably like diapers and pillowcases" #monsterdon

what in the fuck is that. do not leave that animatronic snake babe on my ship #monsterdon

boat knowers of #monsterdon, is that sail what you'd be needing to go to the edge of the earth #monsterdon

just dessicate my ass on deck in my diaper #monsterdon

obviously when the giant statue comes alive and starts coming after you you just drop the god damn brooch pin and scram #monsterdon

of course! the giant statue is only held together by the diesel engine in its ankle!
#monsterdon

well now that the statue is dead, waste not want not, go and get your ass equipped with giant anal beads and whatever else was in there. the gods probably smile upon that kind of shit #monsterdon

i looked away for five seconds and now a bunch of demons have baited a blind guy into an open field torment sesh with a plate of grapes #monsterdon

was greek mythology concerned with sin? i didn't think it had like a set of commandments or the concept of sin #monsterdon

homies have had the concept of fashion and not wearing only diapers this whole time they just choose to diaper up and get a full body sunburn for fun #monsterdon

so they're doing all this to go get some rug and convince everyone that the gods are real and therefore inspire a popular revolt that installs this guy as the king? #Monsterdon

i am literally asking because some stories don't have like a narrative arc and that's fine, epics can just be epics and lengthy series of things happening one after another, but it's also a movie and usually movies have plots #monsterdon

don't question me while i'm holding my little guy obelisk necklace, diaper man #monsterdon

what the hell man i literally just deployed my giant fish man to save your ass and how you're throwing your little guy obelisk necklace overboard and suggesting as king you will promote a secular society less reliant on the gods? #monsterdon

throw the guy a courtesy wave as you pass by or something man, #monsterdon

never question a captain who never takes a turn rowing and dives overboard to bring an unknown dame on board and tells her our entire mission #monsterdon

yeah i guess that's what you get for having a crew of mercenaries that you chose just because they are the strongest guys without them having any ideological alignment or commitments #monsterdon

having a bunch of exactly the same looking ladies dancing around at all times is a cultural universal #monsterdon

how do you go so wrong as to end up with this lego wig guy as your king #monsterdon

is that guy captain picard or what #monsterdon

see, dumbass, you told the king to his face that you were going on a mission to dethrone him, and then even when you realized the person you told your whole plan to was the king himself, you did nothing to follow up on how that might have compromised your opsec, and now look at you. the kings son was just on your boat the whole time #monsterdon

20 minutes left to escape prison, steal the fleece, sail home, marry the babe, dethrone the king, and revitalize the religious beliefs of your countrymen #monsterdon

fuck me up with this hydra, as usual in harryhausen movie, the final-15 monster shoudl have been the whole movie #monsterdon

i wonder what uh king pelias is up to #monsterdon

jesus christ you can't just cut music and arrow the savior woman in the back what is wrong with you #monsterdon

you know what fuck it, 5 minutes left, skeletons. let's go. #monsterdon

honestly if more movies had the courage to abandon everything and pivot to a skeleton war instead of trying to resolve their plot... #monsterdon

fuck yeah dude!!! with these skeletons!!!! all things are possible!!!! only skeletons in anything forever!@!!! #monsterdon

the skeletons fucking rule! long live the skeletons! fuck the gods! fuck the kings! only the skeletons! #monsterdon

ONE MINUTE LEFT IN THE MOVIE "oh no i guess that didn't work out. THE END" #monsterdon

YOU JUST GO AHEAD WITH THE MARRIAGE EVEN AFTER GETTING RUN OFF THE CLIFF BY SKELETONS WHAT IS HAPPENING ON SKELETON ISLAND #monsterdon

DID THEY GET THE FLEECE? what about the rest of the movie!?!?!?!? #monsterdon