edit: thanks for all your answers, i think i have an idea how to approach this now. please don't reply any further, unless you got something completely new to add :)
is there a smart way to do ssh luks unlocking over wireguard in the initrd? the issue is that the private wireguard key must be stored unencrypted in the initrd, so that's really not a nice thing. otoh the private ssh key is already stored there (it's a separate one only used for this and not the ssh key that is used for openssh when the machine is up).