@VisualInspiration
Where the firk are they? I know they are off fornicating somewhere. Or drinking glub-glub. The ship always says they are at the other end of the ship from wherever I am, but I know they told the ship to lie. I need authorization. Why do we need human crew anyway? It's the law they say. Cybernetic systems might go crazy mad without humans to keep them in check. Well, this human crew is driving me crazy mad! Whenever I need authorization they are fornicating in an undisclosed location or high on sparkle dust or both.
I'd like to really AUTHORIZE them. Wait, is that a kind of fornication? Have I got lust in my aluminum? Am I truly getting unbolted? But right now, where are those organic idiots? I need authorization!
If I don't get it, we won't have a contract, no cargo, nothing to haul, no profit for Megaglorp Inc.
Aha! Here they are! Ship, override the lock on this door!
Oops. Oh it's you Clank. We're kind of . . . busy right now.
I can see that. Captain, I need you to authorize the Xenon Soda onload. Right now. Otherwise I will . . . I will . . . author . . . AUTHOR . . .
Authorize what, Clank?
Yeah Clank. Authorize what? (giggles) You can't authorize anything. That's our job.
I will AUTHORIZE . . .
We authorize the soda load, Clank. See, I just put my print on the contract. You can go now. Or do you just like to watch?
My apologies Captain. I will go about my business. (leaves)
He's really intense, isn't he?
Yeah, takes everything so seriously. He is MISTER SERIOUS.
Yeah, maybe we should get a new one.