I'm really curious about people who non-maliciously misgender me as female in person, because I look like this:
If I saw me on the street and had to guess my gender, I think I'd go with "some sort of goblin man?" or perhaps "probable Linux user". What I wouldn't land on is "woman".
The impression I get, which may or may not be correct, is that some people see me, hear my voice, get confused, and come to the incorrect conclusion that gendering me as female is the most respectful thing to do. What I'm confused about is how they come to that conclusion.
@BathysphereHat I’m curious: how do they react when you correct them?
@slothrop Often with at least a bit of embarrassment honestly. The best case scenario is a quick "Oops, ok!" sort of reaction, but sometimes people make that embarrassment my problem in a way that's really uncomfortable. I haven't come across anyone being explicitly transphobic when corrected in person in a long time.
@slothrop I have had people in the past ask me really personal questions about genitals and such, but I wouldn't say that's the norm. I haven't run across that here in Uruguay, either.
@slothrop Oh, I just remembered that I did get sexually harassed by a barber a couple years back when I told him I'm nonbinary. And like, that was horrible, but it's not how most people act.

@BathysphereHat Gah. Sorry to hear that.

I’m glad that people are treating you broadly ok these days!

@slothrop Thanks! I'm a little nervous about how it'll go as I try to make more actual friends in Uruguay, but on like a casual acquaintance level, most people seem to not care that much about whether you're trans here.

@BathysphereHat I hope so!

The “culture war” is actually quite focused on the Anglosphere, though it definitely has repercussions much farther afield. But I’d hope that people in Uruguay haven’t had their minds bent out of shape to the same degree as folks in the US.

@BathysphereHat I really don't know. I don't fully understand transmasc gendering. But seeing you, I would at least ask or something. Like, I wouldn't look at you at someone presenting that way and assume girl. I might assume guy but I wouldn't jump to girl.

But also, gendering is so vibes based and most people don't even think about it and just react so who knows what's triggering in their brains. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@BathysphereHat the old "trans women are the only trans people" assumption?
@BathysphereHat Gendered Linux user. 🤣 Yeah. That's about right.
@faithisleaping I don't even use Linux, but I acknowledge that I look like I do.
@faithisleaping @BathysphereHat hey, that's my gender!
@faithisleaping @BathysphereHat (and I get she/her'd all the time too, it's sooo frustrating)
@BathysphereHat shoot your beard is fuller than mine! heck yeah!
@BathysphereHat I think before I started getting to know more trans people better, I guessed people's gender almost exclusively by their voices (though I also have low confidence in my self-assessment)
@BathysphereHat maybe they think you're a trans woman?