Cay-Eric Schimanski
Deb Ong (she/her)翁诗美I have a heavy Chinese cleaver.
Carbon steel, wooden handle, hand-made in Hong Kong.
It was left behind at a restaurant I used to work at in the city.
It was part of a set of knives that one of the chefs just left and never came back for.
It was a high pressure kitchen.
It was always busy and service was relentless.
The team that we had then was great. We worked hard and played hard.
Many of the chefs were on working holiday visas and had done time in regimented European kitchens.
Our German boss/head chef was tough and direct, but always fair.
When I knew I was leaving, I gave my boss 6 months notice because I knew how hard it would be to find a replacement.
I was not wrong.
The turnstile of chefs that came through the next few months was wild. Many didn't last longer than a fortnight.
I really liked one of the chefs that came through.
English bloke.
Hard worker, great communicator, good sense of humour. Seemed pretty solid.
One Saturday morning, he rocked up for work in a T-shirt, shorts and thongs. His eyes were red and bloodshot.
"I'm so sorry. I can't do it"
He had trauma from working in some kitchens in Europe and had taken some time away.
He thought he was ready to come back, but the high pressure must have triggered something and he was having panic attacks before work.
I gave him a hug. My boss and I both wished him well.
We both knew the feeling.
This cleaver was left behind by someone else.
He had applied for a senior position (mine), and had told my boss he was definitely on board.
One Sunday, he just never showed up.
We were so worried. We called his phone, left voice messages. We even called his mum, who lives in another state.
She eventually called us back and told us to stop trying to contact him, and that he would contact us.
That's when we knew that he wasn't coming back.
We waited 2 weeks before we divvied up his knives.
Every time I use that cleaver, I'm reminded of that chef.
While it's easy to laugh at him and call him a coward, or say that he was 'soft' or couldn't handle the heat...
I am reminded that it could have been any one of us.
We don't know where our breaking point is until we hit it, and sometimes we might let people down because we need to protect ourselves.
There shouldn't be shame in that.
gusseting@nihilistnomya Agreed, there shouldn't be shame, but I've had so much of it, and tried so hard to simply keep working through the trauma. Which just made things worse. It's a sometimes difficult and brave thing to face up to your limits and walk away.
@gusseting my husband is also a chef,and he moved to Melbourne to work at Ramsey's place at the casino.
When we were dating, he would start to spiral as his days off came to an end.
One day, while walking through Carlton Gardens I said to him, just don't go. Fuck 'em.
He went in the next day to get his things and clear out his locker.
To this day he still gets triggered by the perfume they pump into the air at the casino. You can smell it as you walk past.
@nihilistnomya huh. I've never actually been *inside* the casino, but now I want to go, simply to smell this perfume! I'm super sensitive to certain scents having a previous life as a textile dyer - I can smell the clothes in kmart for example, because the dyes sometimes aren't set properly, so there's fumes.
Where is yr husband now? (if you don't mind answering, that is...)
Where is yr husband now? (if you don't mind answering, that is...)
@gusseting my husband and I currently own/run a little cafe in the western suburbs :)
@nihilistnomya I figured you might have snaffled him into the business ;)
Your place sounds amazing, and kudos to you for getting on this list - looking forward to working my way through it - I'm a huge laksa fan and have had many a bowl at laksa king + malaysian laksa house.
https://www.delicious.com.au/eat-out/cheap-eats/gallery/best-laksa-melbourne/jovwrl6m?page=6
Your place sounds amazing, and kudos to you for getting on this list - looking forward to working my way through it - I'm a huge laksa fan and have had many a bowl at laksa king + malaysian laksa house.
https://www.delicious.com.au/eat-out/cheap-eats/gallery/best-laksa-melbourne/jovwrl6m?page=6
Dilman Dila@nihilistnomya This premise could make a cute novel, or a even a TV series
@dilmandila The tools left behind by chefs...
I also have a cherry pitter and a fish spatula😅
Fish spatula guy was a dick.
@nihilistnomya Ha! Yes, that makes a perfect title. So each tool sparks off a chapter that tells us about that chef, and then in the chapter about the dick guy, it turns out to be a horror where the heroine uses the spatula to fish out his guts.... (i think my mind is a bit too evil, maybe the heroine should be a detective-kind who investigates this kind of death)😀