forestineliving in an all adhd household is like
you're sitting there getting ready for your day and suddenly everybody is trying to clean up coffee that spilled all over everything
i actually wrecked my laptop about 10 years ago when i was getting ready to move for grad school and totally killed it. and everybody was like
well you shouldn't have done that
oh well you picked up your computer wrong afterwards
etc etc i am the fool
of course i didn't INTEND to sit down and spill an entire cup of coffee on my computer until it was spilling out the ports, but people like to feel like they would never
the worst thing about the adhd tax is smarmy people saying "i simply would not have done that" and they can all go to hell
Maddy - ADHD-powered mess 
@forestine Ugh, my partner and I both struggle with this sorta thing, both being AuDHD.
I built up a lot of coping mechanisms to avoid these sort of incidents myself and unfortunately adopted a similar way of chastising when I should know better.
I'm much better about catching myself these days before saying some shit like that, but it still comes out. 
I built up a lot of coping mechanisms to avoid these sort of incidents myself and unfortunately adopted a similar way of chastising when I should know better.
I'm much better about catching myself these days before saying some shit like that, but it still comes out.
Consensus Tullyality@maddy @forestine honestly that's the worst part IMO; that all these offhand comments about how you're a failure for allowing these things to happen get internalised over time and then you have to spend so much of your life deprogramming yourself of it.
ugh.
@tully @forestine For fucking real. 
Nowadays, instead of focusing on 'how avoidable it was', I try to offer sympathy and assistance in those moments 'cause I know that 'you should've done x' doesn't do much more than cause anger and frustration in the moment.
Nowadays, instead of focusing on 'how avoidable it was', I try to offer sympathy and assistance in those moments 'cause I know that 'you should've done x' doesn't do much more than cause anger and frustration in the moment.
@forestine @tully Exactly, and that's why they're called 'mistakes' or 'accidents'.
Bleh, it's mixed feelings realizing I've still got more unlearning to do.
Bleh, it's mixed feelings realizing I've still got more unlearning to do.
weird herm