[sigh] OK, this is a can full of worms, isn't it?

Here are my main points:

1) As someone who has been around for a bit, I'll point out that no matter *how* you try to reframe trans people's experiences, no matter what language you use, no matter what labels and designations you adopt, their impact NEVER really lasts.

Cis people, or significant subsets of them, always shift the goal posts of legitimacy in their eyes as to what makes a person "real." You can't make yourself more legible to someone who has no desire to open their eyes and see you in the first place.

I certainly have done this. And I stayed off the "mainstream path" of my own particular communities to find my own ways to understand myself as a woman and that was extremely helpful.

I'll note that when trans people are exploring ways to make our experiences more legible to cis people, there is often a deeper underlying struggle to find ways to make our lives more legible to ourselves because we've internalized the malignancy of cis people's prejudicial views of trans/non-binary/etc. people.

2) When you do this, I'd advise that you seek a paradigm/understanding of yourself that builds for resiliency and solidity, that you seek out understandings of yourself that very specifically rip cis people's meddling, abusive fingers from your core of self. Because right now, if you're on this path of seeking understanding, that's probably because cis people, in some way, still have their fingers inside of you, and are hurting you.

Do this in a way that permanently BREAKS those fingers.

3) I'm not sure that centering your understanding and sense of womanhood/manhood/personhood/gender/sex on a medical resource that can be ripped away at any time by cis people and the state is really the best way to go.

If you center your understanding of self & being upon something like HRT, then by gosh, you can be SURE that cis people will put every resource they can into taking that from you.

Collectively, their intent is to control you, hurt you, & bend you to THEIR understanding & will.

I'm a person who likes to keep her ammo dry and all of the guns loaded. My goal has always been to search for points of vulnerability and seal them up with well fortified defenses.

[sigh] I know that war metaphors aren't the best thing but let's be real. Cis people, collectively, and cis people who pull the levers of the state, are trying to incur as high a body count among us as possible.

They want us dead.

Build good defenses.

And I don't wish to hand cis people, collectively speaking, and the cis state in particular, a ready made weapon that they can use to disassemble who I am from the inside out.

I don't base my understanding of my self, my femininity, and my womanhood, on the pills I take every morning.

I know, I feel, I AM something deeper than that. Something deeper than a medicine or a scalpel can touch.

But it took a long time to build that sense of solidity.

And it's not easy to build that kind of solidity because cis culture and cis people have spent your entire life trying to dissolve and destroy who you are, from the inside out, and from the outside in.

I know this is not easy. Cis people want us to conform and become them... or die.

Just be careful. Try to avoid walking down pathways which give THEM easier access to hurting you.

Even if it feels like a tempting solution in the heat of the moment.

"Not just in a sense of trans & meds either."

Right?

An example:

All of the youthful qualities of strength, beauty, fertility, sexuality, etc. that our culture's Hollywood sensibilities base manhood/womanhood/etc. upon fade with the passing of years.

When those physically centered aspects leech away under time's ministrations, are we no longer men or women or whatever our gendered understanding of self once said we were?

Why build castles on foundations of an hourglass's sand?

Link to quoted post:

https://mastodon.social/@Kalshann/116194929452812770