@roamingwithromie, Black Royalty,
Luck plays a huge role in romantic relationships. You cannot simply pull yourself up by your bootstraps and think that’s enough. Meritocracy isn’t the only reason why you’re married.
(1/10)
#blackwomen #92percent #blacklove #whitewomen #blackmastodon
There are plenty of people who have done the work, but for a multitude of external reasons, are still single. We have got to stop the sense of personal superiority that comes from these conversations.
Signed,
A lucky married person
Everything in life is ephemeral.
(2/10)
Marriages don’t always last forever, and neither does singleness. Enjoy what you have while it’s here.
@kay_peck replied:
Yuuup. I read an article years ago where the writer asked, “those people you know who married their high school sweethearts -
(3/10)
do you think they were fully whole when they found their partner? Do you think they had it all figured out? No, they got lucky.” That’s always stuck with me.
@nrand23, Black Royalty, replied:
Very appreciated perspective, from a happily divorced person. ❤️ life is just life.
(4/10)
@artofelura replied:
I've done the healing, the therapy, the work, ect. Reality is you can be smart, funny, loving, cute, supportive, talented, ect. And that man still won't choose you. Like at best it can offer is walking away from situations sooner rather than later.
(5/10)
And one time, it felt like fate really did align for me, but I still wound up as collateral damage for the war he was waging against himself.
@kaitybrodriguez, Black Royalty, replied:
As a single person, I've been thinking this as well . It’s tough to find someone who is
(6/10)
both is rare. And it doesn’t always boil down self work, healing or preparation. Sometimes, it’s just luck. Thank you for sharing.
[I wasn't sure in what sense you meant health. I'm 58. In my experience of life everyone has mental health issues; but my 2nd ex before was
(7/10)
one of those people like myself who was able to talk about anything which is an amazing building block for a relationship.
Each time I fell out of love, it hurt; but I strove to be even more open to life and in that way may have experienced love more times than other
(8/10)
people. I dated someone with lupus before, for example, and will never regret doing so.
Each time a relationship ended, I learned from it and then going forward only focused on the positive aspects of it.]
@tymm302, Black Royalty, replied:
This ‘people who’ve done the work’ narrative, is largely misleading
Anyone can spend yrs in therapy but then when they have to put it into practice in a new relationship, it all goes out the window.
(9/9)
Audubon Ballroon (he/him)