Robin DeRosaSome members of the flight crew have shown up and are waiting with us. People are looking at them desperately like maybe they are prophets sent from another land who might carry news about where our plane is.
Somehow the energy at this gate feels like when everyone is listening hard for the first tremor of the sandworms in Dune.
Except there is a Dunkins here in the desert for some reason
The woman next to me is dressed the way anyone in a Boston blizzard dresses when they’re about to get on a plane to Minneapolis.
I was wondering how to work a Don DeLillo scene into this thread. Well the universe just delivered:
Man, to gate agent, “We are connecting on our way to Portugal.”
Man’s wife: “We are going to Puerto Rico.”
Man: “…”
I have been wearing a mask for 5.5 hours. If I were MAGA I would have asphyxiated on my own CO2 by now. 😅
I just took my noise canceling headphones off for a minute. In the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, “Big mistake. Huge.”
I have boarded! Full plane, very germy, maximum fun. See y’all in the Midwest, punks!
Just kidding. Pilot just came on to tell us one of the engines is…I think he said…broke.
As soon as they FIX THE BROKE ENGINE we will be on our way, folks!
I am thinking of telling them I am an EMT in case they want me to have a look under the hood
Oh lord we’re still on the tarmac and they are handing out free snacks IF YOU KNOW AIRPLANES LIKE I KNOW AIRPLANES THEN YOU KNOW BAD SIGN
I see a guy with a wrench walking around down there. Like someone’s cousin offered to see what he could do
It’s weird how at this point like 99% of us would vote to just take off, bad engine and all, and just take our chances.
Pilot just announced another 20-30 minutes. Maybe. I digress from this lighthearted thread about delays and decapitation to say in all seriousness
American air travel is inhumane, and as physically and emotionally rigorous as almost anything.
And now I’m back to lighthearted posting when I say that they are testing the engine “by giving it a few good revs.”
😬
I don’t think the revs were good enough 🫤
Guy With A Wrench is now in the cockpit talking to the pilot (his cousin?). Seems like not a good sign.
Confirmed: the Wrench Guy could not fix it. They are trying something else for 20-30 mins and then I’m likely looking at deplaning and the complete annihilation of any spirit I had left in me.
The Apple FlightTracker says I am now “en route.”
Yeah, and Pilot Godot is at the wheel.
Godot just said the issue is resolved and we should be underway soon!
[Didi and Gogo dance with joy]
They just need to “close up the engine.” COULD THEY DO THAT FROM THE AIR PLEASE 😭😭😭😭
Still not in the air but logging off to sit quietly with my eyes closed and hum to myself
Oh lovelies! I had such a wonderful visit to the world of the golden gophers at my new university in Minnesota! But all good things must end so here I am at the Minneapolis airport ready to fly to Boston and we’re kicking it off with a special treat from Delta: a 3-hour delay! I’ve already done a 1 hour car ride, and we still have the flight, the 2 hour bus, and the final 1 hour car ride home. You know what this means? LIKE A GOPHER IN YOUR GARDEN THAT YOU CANT KILL THIS TRAVEL THREAD IS GOING TO CONTINUE TO EAT YOUR TIME
[thread management does not endorse the killing of gophers or any other irritating mammals, including those ruining our country]
*running
*ha ha jk ruining
It’s not exciting but I just took a quiz on diabetic ketoacidosis and I got a 96% so you’re only 4% likely to be out of luck if you have a diabetic emergency on my watch! Other than that this airport is pleasantly boring.
Bought a cute Minnesota loon resistance magnet at the craft booth in Terminal 1. It’s cool because it’s both anti-ice and also reminiscent of stupid Canadian wolf bird. Score!
I have been here so many hours, and every hour the kind gate agent moves me up one row, so I’ve now left lavatory land! If I stay here eleven more hours I’ll be in first class, bitches!
Just about to board but we’ve all been told to sit back down at the gate because maintenance is now called in to work on the plane…which was delayed 3 hours so far for maintenance. This plane is very high maintenance. 💅
Now we are told to start boarding again like one minute after we were told to pause boarding for maintenance. The plane’s blood sugar is low and it’s starting to get punchy. It needs a snack.
We are boarding and I am zone ♾️
I am on the plane and only two people are wearing masks: me and my delightful Minnesotan seatmate! Fate brings us together 😷 🥰
We’re gonna fly now, kids. WiFi is free on this plane but I’m going to pretend it’s not because I do not support the dawn of an era where we have to be connected to earthly business when we are hurtling through the sky
Oh blessed mother of aviation I got off the plane and RAN FULL THROTTLE AND I HAVE MADE THE EARLIER BUS SAVING MYSELF AN EXTRA HOUR OF SITTING AROUND ON A COLD BOSTON SIDEWALK and all it cost me is the last tiny ounces of spinal function that I had 😩
Praise be!!!!!
We are at the next terminal and there are LINES of people and this bus to New Hampshire is full and people are being turned away and with all the generosity of spirit of someone who toils every day in the name of the common good, I say to those people NAH NAH NAH NAH, NAH NAH NAH NAH, HEY HEY HEY GOOD BYE
Patrick Anderson@actualham
Beautiful
Beautiful