what if i actually wrote some music?

i have all of these reasons why i can't make what i really want to be making right now, and all these fears about how i will ever distribute on platforms without having access to paypal, but music.
i think i'm all right at it, and it's not like i can't make anything at all.
just the roadblocks can be kinda demotivating.
like i totally believe in creation for creation's sake, but also i do want to have finished projects that others can listen to, and it's hard to get together the requisite energy, or truly feel the passion for the craft, when i feel like i'm constantly stepping around things to get nowhere.

anyway maybe music this weekend, i should see if there are updates to Surge