"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

this Darth Vader guy has been reading the wrong kinds of manager advice books

Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru's deaths are really just so horrible. Completely incinerated. Nothing left of them but bones. Total overkill.

Luke, I think this guy Vader your dad used to hang with might be bad fuckin' news.

"There's nothing here for me now."

honestly there barely was anything here for Luke when Owen and Beru /were/ alive.

"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

it's just a little town with a bar. you see that meeting room on the Star Destroyer?

"Han Solo. I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie here tells me you're looking for passage to the Alderaan system."
"Yes. If it's a fast ship."
"Fast ship? You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?"

lmao han is so full of shit

"It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs."

the fullest of the shittest

*rewinds* oh huh

no actual frames of Han shooting, say, first here huh

"The door's locked. Move on to the next one."

well if the door is locked there's clearly no way the droids we're looking for are behind it

"Our position's correct, except no Alderaan."

crushing

"Your destiny lies along a different path from mine."

Obi-Wan knows which one of them is the face of the franchise and which one of them is here to pay for their new house.

"She's rich."
"Rich?"

yeah, Leia's got a lot of cash in the First Bank of Alderaan, you can see it float by now

"I can't see a thing in this helmet."

you know, he really is a little short for a stormtrooper

"I'm Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you!"

wahoo

"The Jedi are extinct. Their fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that's left of their religion."

always loved the idea, see also Qui-Gonn in Phantom Menace, with his silly fringe ideas about midichlorians, of the Jedi not as this great galactic peacekeeping force but just a weird, if influential, cult

"Escape is not his plan. I must face him alone."

Obi-Wan's plan is clearly to die so as to be Luke's, well, uh, Uncle Ben, making him the hero of the story

"If you hurry, you might catch them!"

you barely need a jedi mind trick to mind trick a stormtrooper

"Listen to them, they're dying, R2!"

Threepio is so funny.

"If we can just avoid any more female advice, we ought to be able to get outta here."

han shut the fuck up

"I don't know who you are or where you came from..."

because none of that matters, because what matters is that he's here, right now, doing the right thing even though he doesn't want to

"I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master."
"Only a master of evil, Darth."

he 100% says Darth the same as if he'd said "Dave" — it's just his name here.