Alex Daily! 
"A more elegant weapon, for a more civilized age."
*points at the podcast*
"How did my father die?"
"A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Now the Jedi are all but extinct. Vader was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force."
"The Force?"
it's all telling instead of showing and still it rules
"The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together."
that's so truly all you need
The princess in her time of need sending a message to the brave old knight she knows will come and save her from the dragon.
Love all these 1970s-ass British actors in the Empire. If you were making this today Jared Harris would be one of them.
"I find your lack of faith disturbing."
this Darth Vader guy has been reading the wrong kinds of manager advice books
The first massacre in Star Wars is of the Jawas, but their plight is only a cue to Luke to hurry back home to find the massacre we care about.
Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru's deaths are really just so horrible. Completely incinerated. Nothing left of them but bones. Total overkill.
Luke, I think this guy Vader your dad used to hang with might be bad fuckin' news.
"There's nothing here for me now."
honestly there barely was anything here for Luke when Owen and Beru /were/ alive.
"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
it's just a little town with a bar. you see that meeting room on the Star Destroyer?
This does so much more with a dozen concrete domes in Tunisia than anything made today ever does.
Love me some jizz. Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes' "Mad About Me," a great jizz classic.
The Cantina is, of course, great stuff. A pile-up of 70s-looking dudes and also there's a Satan and a Wolfman.
*points at Bossk* look, it's a space suit from Doctor Who story "The Tenth Planet."
Obi-Wan immediately hacks a man's whole arm off over very little. He's a paranoid, touchy type of guy.
"Han Solo. I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie here tells me you're looking for passage to the Alderaan system."
"Yes. If it's a fast ship."
"Fast ship? You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?"
lmao han is so full of shit
"It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs."
the fullest of the shittest
hey, it's my good friend Greedo
and that's a wrap on Greedo
Han was right to shoot him. Greedo would absolutely have killed him if he hadn't.
*rewinds* oh huh
no actual frames of Han shooting, say, first here huh
Not even any frames of Greedo shooting at all — Han doesn't shoot first, he's only one to shoot!!
whole "Han shot first" thing blown wide fuckin open
"The door's locked. Move on to the next one."
well if the door is locked there's clearly no way the droids we're looking for are behind it
and that's a wrap on the people of Alderaan
"Our position's correct, except no Alderaan."
crushing
The closest equivalent to what Vader feels like here in the later movies is, like, Captain Phasma. An armour, a voice, a threat. All implication.
"Your destiny lies along a different path from mine."
Obi-Wan knows which one of them is the face of the franchise and which one of them is here to pay for their new house.
"She's rich."
"Rich?"
yeah, Leia's got a lot of cash in the First Bank of Alderaan, you can see it float by now
"I can't see a thing in this helmet."
you know, he really is a little short for a stormtrooper
just a good ol' goofy sci-fi laser gun fight
"I'm Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you!"
wahoo
"The Jedi are extinct. Their fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that's left of their religion."
always loved the idea, see also Qui-Gonn in Phantom Menace, with his silly fringe ideas about midichlorians, of the Jedi not as this great galactic peacekeeping force but just a weird, if influential, cult
"Escape is not his plan. I must face him alone."
Obi-Wan's plan is clearly to die so as to be Luke's, well, uh, Uncle Ben, making him the hero of the story
you'd think they'd go further down this tunnel but they can't because it's a matte painting
all three of them are idiots on their own, but together, Luke, Han, and Lei have just enough brain cells to be the scrappy heroes this story needs
"If you hurry, you might catch them!"
you barely need a jedi mind trick to mind trick a stormtrooper
Artoo hacking da computer wall with his droid penis.
"Listen to them, they're dying, R2!"
Threepio is so funny.
"If we can just avoid any more female advice, we ought to be able to get outta here."
han shut the fuck up
"I don't know who you are or where you came from..."
because none of that matters, because what matters is that he's here, right now, doing the right thing even though he doesn't want to
had to take receipt of a package, then got distracted (had to poop), but back now, let's go
Harrison Ford is such a funny physical actor when it's asked of him.
"I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master."
"Only a master of evil, Darth."
he 100% says Darth the same as if he'd said "Dave" — it's just his name here.
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."
Uncle Ben's power is felt every single time Spider-Man saves somebody
Obi-Wan has visibly been waiting for Luke to get here to see him die.
Vader's foot checking to make sure the robe is actually empty — even he doesn't know what just happened there.
I love every time the Falcon in flight wobbles like the prop on sticks it is. Adore it. Let me feel how you made it.
ba-baa-ba, ba-baa-ba, ba-baa-baa-ba-ba-ba
"I'm taking an awful risk, Vader. This better work."
the guy who let George keep the toy rights over here
"You think a princess and a guy like me—?"
"No."
preposterous, clearly. it'd never work out. they'd have one kid who'd turn out to be an asshole, then they'd break up and both die alone on different planets
"Then man your ships, and may the Force be with you."
general Dodonna never strikes you as a big Force guy, does he.
time for the farm boy to go fight the dragon
look at all these people. look at all these props. look at this world, this story. what a picture.
red seventeen standing by
the seams on the effects just make it /better/. it doesn't hurt any of this at all.
that's a wrap on Jek Tono Porkins.
the deaths of Luke's fellow pilots feel very scary and harrowing even though we've just met all these guys because every single one of them feels like a direct threat to Luke, who we care about — every plane that goes down could've been Luke's
"This is it."
this is it
they're closing in
but the shot is taken — no, it misses!
🇹 Ti@The_T who even let Porkins' cousin Smokins on comms
@The_T yeah, sucks, that's one bit you'd think they'd cut in a modern edit
because I don't think pigs even exist here
@Alexis of course they do https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Hoth_hog
Hoth hog
Hoth hogs were small, omnivorous relatives of the ice scrabbler that lived on the ice planet Hoth. They used their tongues to locate thermal vents or heated caves when scavenging in family units and then dug down to find their food using powerful clawed feet. Hoth hogs were eaten by members of the tauntaun species. Hoth hogs were a type of small,[3] omnivorous creature that was able to develop on the ice planet Hoth due to the presence of slow-growing vegetable matter in the world's deep ice...