Remember how bad "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" was, well, what if there was a moderately better movie about Wolverine that was also a little weird about Japan, it's —

#64, or #2434, 2013's "The Wolverine."

More movie titles should have exclamation marks in them to signal that they're Exciting!, leaving now for a screening of —

#65, or #2435, 2001's "Moulin Rouge!"

It's the movie that dares to ask, what if there was a prince of tides, it's —

#66, or #2436, 1991 Barbra Streisand picture "The Prince of Tides."

If you’ve known me long enough, you’ll know I’m obsessed with malls. Not “shrine in my basement”-obsessed, just “sometimes I’ll watch a movie specifically because it’s set in a mall”-obsessed.

You can probably extrapolate from that that I’ve obviously also been thinking about the secret mall apartment since the moment I first heard the story.

With and after dinner, I watched —

#67, or #2437, 2024 documentary “Secret Mall Apartment.”

The new Pixar is called "Hoppers" in America but "Jumpers" here, and so obviously I haven't been calling it "Joppers" but the other thing, leaving now to go see —

#68, or #2438, 2026's "Jumpers."

Let's wrap up Barbra Streisand's career as a director, I don't know anything about this one, either, it's —

#69, or #2439, 1996's "The Mirror Has Two Faces."

My position on Star Wars versioning is that I don't really care and think George is allowed to tinker with his work, but this time, let's watch the 4K77 version, it's —

#70, or #2440, 1977's "Star Wars."

"There's no life-forms. It must've short-circuited."

I feel like these guys should know about droids.

"Darth Vader. Only you could be so bold."

Trying not to let my knowledge of the future paint all this too much. Vader here is a cool asshole in black. They have an existing dynamic, but he's not her dad, he's not Anakin Skywalker.

"Well, if there's a bright centre of the universe, you're on the planet it's farthest from."

i dunno, pretty bright outside

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope."

you might want a fresh hope

"Luke's just not a farmer, Owen. He has too much of his father in him."
"That's what I'm afraid of."

earnestly catching myself wondering who his dad was

"Hello there."

oh it's just old ben the local wizard

"Obi-Wan Kenobi? Obi-Wan. Now that's a name I've not heard in a long time. A long time."

a long time ago before this long time ago

"I haven't gone by the name Obi-Wan since, oh, before you were born."

*considers* I don't think that adds up.

But the way Alec Guiness says it, what a life implied.

"I don't seem to remember ever owning a droid."

droid rights activist Obi-Wan doesn't believe in owning people

"No, my father didn't fight in the wars. He was a navigator on a spice freighter."
"That's what your uncle told you. He didn't hold with your father's ideals. Thought he should've stayed here and not gotten involved."

Luke's dad was a hero who stood for something, fought for something. Ran away from Tatooine to do it.

"You fought in the Clone Wars?"
"Yes. I was once a Jedi knight, the same as your father."
"I wish I'd known him."
"He was the best starpilot in the galaxy... and a cunning warrior."

a rich fucking text

the words "the Clone Wars" alone

"Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn-fool idealistic crusade, like your father did."

Luke's dad was friends with Obi-Wan. They stood for something together. Ran away together.

"A more elegant weapon, for a more civilized age."

*points at the podcast*

"How did my father die?"
"A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Now the Jedi are all but extinct. Vader was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force."
"The Force?"

it's all telling instead of showing and still it rules

"The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together."

that's so truly all you need

"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

this Darth Vader guy has been reading the wrong kinds of manager advice books

Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru's deaths are really just so horrible. Completely incinerated. Nothing left of them but bones. Total overkill.

Luke, I think this guy Vader your dad used to hang with might be bad fuckin' news.

"There's nothing here for me now."

honestly there barely was anything here for Luke when Owen and Beru /were/ alive.

"You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."

it's just a little town with a bar. you see that meeting room on the Star Destroyer?