CatgirlSomething weird happened š«
Jorunn (she/her)You should mark this as NSFW.
Itās perfectly valid to not wanna tell anyone, and itās also good to be proud of who you are and where youāve gotten. I donāt really know that thereās a right answer here, itās probably one of those things that you need to feel out, kinda like him with your cervix.
I think youāre right. Itās a non solid answer. Itās like the old saying about cheating. For some people, cheating means intercourse or kissing someone else. For others, you could fuck someone in a gas station bathroom and itās not cheating. Depends on the relationship.
The sharing of that information is an uncertain answer in my option. Not really sure.
Maybe an underlying thought is, are you fully who you are while withholding information? Is the relationship going to be 100% or will it feel like thereās a secret?
Again, canāt honestly say either way as itās not my situation.
You could always just truthfully say āthatās a weird thing to say to someone.ā Iāve never heard of anyone other than a gyno making comments about a womanās cervix.
You donāt just judge people by their cervix? Youāre weird.
I only judge a book by its cervix
I mean as a person whoās really into sex with women and gets off fingering them, the only thing that seems weird is the phrasing maybe. Iām not sure a gyno is getting up in there with the same level of care and motivation as someone who really likes fingering women.
So Iām a cis man and I hope Iām not intruding and hope Iāll be helpful posting my take. Iām not taken to casual sexual relationships personally as Iām Asexual but if I were in your partners shoes Iād want to know in much the same way that Iād like to know if someone was a virgin beforehand. Its not something that would make me not want to hook up necessarily but I can imagine there are things that I could do differently that would make the whole experience better for both of us if I did know. That being said I completely understand the desire to move past that part of your life and I havenāt personally been in a relationship with a Trans person before so please take this with a massive grain of salt. Good luck, I hope everything works out for you
dandelion (she/her)I think disclosing trans status when youāre passing and post-op to a casual hookup is crazy, tbh - thereās no motivation to do it
maybe if this were husband material or something, but even then I would really have to think about whether I would want even my spouse to know Iām trans ā¦
hereās something to think about: what does being trans mean to you? Why is it helpful to disclose?
as far as I can tell, all it does is communicate to someone that Iām ānot really a womanā - and this is the opposite of the truth. There is nothing to gain by undermining my gender, and plenty to lose.
Honestly agree. I would want to know but thatās just cause Iām a huge ally and would think itās really cool and want to encourage or support, but also thatās your life, your past, and completely up to you if you want to share. I would also agree with another poster that disclosing that information could potentially lead to a violent reaction unfortunately.
So if itās your past and no oneās business keep it like that. If you want to share, probably best to be upfront before sexy times because to even the best intentioned humans that might be a bit of a mind fuck. Born without a uterus does seem like a very neat way to not lie and allow a person to make the wrong assumptions also lol.
Berengaria_of_NavarreIn todayās political climate, if youāre going to tell them youāre trans youāll want to do it before sex because depending on the political views of a random hookup, they might react violently if they find out after the fact. Saying you were born without a uterus because of a birth defect might be a good manipulation of the truth.
Staden_ ć¹ćæćć³Do you have any way of knowing if they are transphobic before going on the date? This situations seems very risky
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I think itās fine to just move past things. I donāt think thereās any obligation to just tell people youāre hooking up with. Being proud of accomplishing what you have doesnāt need to involve everyone else.
Straight trans girls proving sexuality is not a choice once again.
sometimes I tell doctors I was born without a uterus and that solves / explains away the issue without disclosing trans status
some women are born without a uterus or have their uterus removed - so itās possible to be a woman without a cervix š¤·āāļø
EDIT: that said, I donāt think you owe him an explanation and his comment could be seen as inappropriate, and regardless my point is there is no need to jump to transness as an explanation even if you felt you needed to explain something (e.g. to a doctor).