slothropMar 4

eggshells all the way down

https://lemmy.ca/post/61305067

Show threadmerc

My mom comes from a family like this, so I know what this is talking about. She has a lot of unhealthy behaviour that is a result of a pretty awful childhood.

OTOH, a certain amount of this is healthy. It’s good to have empathy and notice that your dad isn’t in the best mood. It’s kind to try to cheer him up. IMO the difference is whether your behaviour is driven by empathy or fear.

Mar 5 at 5:20amWeb
Show threadFosterMolassesMar 5
I think that’s a big concern which holds a lot of people who’ve been through this sort of thing back, the fear of “I don’t want to come off as callous”, without realizing that most people who experience this have inherent empathy that won’t be erased so easily if you simply begin prioritizing yourself. It sucks, because you know exactly what it feels like to be around the type of people who only prioritize themselves and you think “Well I don’t wanna be like that, I have to care more about how other people are feeling” without realizing how often you bulldoze your own emotions in the process. As my own therapist put in, “You have a right to prioritize and care for yourself, and that doesn’t make you at all lacking in empathy.”
Show threadtetris11Mar 5
Bit of both I imagine. You love him and fear him
Show threadcurrycourierMar 5
Yes! I think that gets lost a lot in this type of discourse. A lot of the time the real underlying issue is that our actions are being driven by fear rather than concious, measured choice.