Cactuar Joe♫The Incredible Edible 'Erc ♪ #Monsterdon
Photography by a pasta shape, okay #Monsterdon
IN THE BEGINNING -- wait shit, wrong mythology #Monsterdon
whoa whoa hyperactive big bang #Monsterdon
STELLA STAAAAAAAAAR #Monsterdon
...Wait, pandora's JAR #Monsterdon
someone is seriously fucking with us here #Monsterdon
The starship Heart of Gold!?!? #Monsterdon
This movie is like every sci fi bit of nonsense we've seen in the last, like, five years all condensed into one aesthetic and then smushed into Jason and the Argonauts like a PB&J sandwich #Monsterdon
What really shocks me is that the effects here are genuinely pretty solid. Like, that's some good moon mist. #Monsterdon
MOONINITES #Monsterdon
no wait SANTA CLAUS!?!? #Monsterdon
Costume design by The Fifth Element, okay #Monsterdon
Zeus: Yeah, I'll just make a hot dude. That'll solve it. #Monsterdon
We can rebuild him. We have the white mana. #Monsterdon
Aw jeez lou put some pants on #Monsterdon
Lou just bouncin' around the landscape like WHOOOOOOOA ngyooooo HWOOOOAOAO nyooom #Monsterdon
While I appreciate Herc didn't descend on some woman's womb, I'm not sure dropping into some kid's blank brain is really a Pure And Holy thing to do. #Monsterdon
Better put a silencer on that thing first, dude. #Monsterdon
Yeah, sneak archer builds are always overpowered. #Monsterdon
...thief in bright red robes, okay #Monsterdon
The commander is playing egg checkers. #Monsterdon
jesus christ ma'am #Monsterdon
HOLD UP HOLD UP you guys stole footage from another Hercules movie, that's illegal. #Monsterdon
Tomato soup got away from her :/ #Monsterdon
Hope one of these guys has a dust pan helmet. #Monsterdon
Great line read, dude. #Monsterdon
"Here, kid, you know how to pilot a boat, right? No? Well, good luck." #Monsterdon
As always, good may be dumb but evil is incompetent. #Monsterdon
"Put that back in the river!"
You don't know where he's been! #Monsterdon
Another one of those movies that thinks you're stupid and need to have everything explicitly pointed out by characters >_> #Monsterdon
Kid has a drooling contest with the snakes. Kid wins. #Monsterdon
FIRST BLOOD TO THE CHILD #Monsterdon
I swear to god if we phase into Ator: The Fighting Eagle I'm leaving. #Monsterdon
I take it back, it's not Ator, it's Swamp Thing #Monsterdon
You thought it was Hercules, but it was ME, A BEAR #Monsterdon
Careful, dude, we all know bears explode into nuclear fire when they die. #Monsterdon
OH MY GOD IT *IS* THE BEAR FROM GRIZZY, IT WAS THE SAME FOOTAGE #Monsterdon
Slou Ferrigno #Monsterdon
hercules has the power to induce seizures with his bare hands #Monsterdon
also his bear hands #Monsterdon
He used a bear to create constellation
Oh, hey there Romulan babe. #Monsterdon
Keell zem. Keel zem aul. #Monsterdon
Hercules, look out! The gods are sending Digimon after you! #Monsterdon
This is all very Italian. #Monsterdon
Herc, c'mon. This is the bronze age, not the stick age. #Monsterdon
Well that's just embarrassing. #Monsterdon
Ferrigno looks especially weird in the little loincloth thing given that everyone else has, like, clothing. #Monsterdon
Wow, thrilling. #Monsterdon
So when Herc wasn't working the plow or tearing up the forest he was learning to use the sword and shield? #Monsterdon
Yeah, see, the problem here is that Lou's got the look but he hasn't got the MOVEMENT.
Like, when Lucy Lawless played Xena she wasn't particularly muscled out but she MOVED like she was and so you believed it. Lou's like the opposite, he just doesn't move like he's strong. He moves like he's afraid of hurting himself.
ugh the pecs look weird #Monsterdon
And that's how we got the constellation The Pencil #Monsterdon
Man, Lou's a really awful actor, huh. #Monsterdon
Y'know, this bit would be SO MUCH more effective if he just DID IT instead of narrating it and explaining it and making you wait for it
"Show, don't tell" but really more accurately it's "JUST GET ON WITH IT" #Monsterdon
And so the holy scion of purity caused a massive natural disaster. #Monsterdon
Ha ha ha they dissolve to a clean stable like it's a Scrubbing Bubbles commercial XD #Monsterdon
🤖Robot Enby Xero🤖@CactuarJoe wagglewaggle