ageedizzleWhat’s your most controversial opinion?
https://piefed.ca/c/asklemmy/p/563749/whats-your-most-controversial-opinion
HubertManneim fine with trans people and non discrimination but my whole life sex and gender terms were one and the same for me and most folks in everyday language. The idea of identifying pronouns for myself seems laughable to me. Im a big believer in simple solutions. Got some temp work at a place with genderless bathrooms that had the full floor to ceiling doors. Its a bit wierd to wash my hands with girls but its not like im naked. There is all sorts of language things going out of fashion (online) and folks are like just learn it but look despite decades of school my spelling and grammar are atrocious because habits don’t change easily and no one is even forcing me to study or anything now. On top of it, like it or not for the internet folks, it has no bearing in the outside world which is still basically jugging along at its own pace. It will over time for sure but it won’t happen as quickly as early adopters would like. Also I pretty much don’t like any type of censorship of fictinoal things. Reality and fiction are two different things to me. Although modern ability to fake things is making identifying something as real as tough. I don’t want claims of it being high end fakes as letting folks get away with crimes.
definitely_AIPeople have the right to define themselves however they want. Likewise, people have the right not to share their determinations.
Pretty much yeah. I agree with another reply that you try your best to accomodate folks but I also have habits.
Thank you. I thought I was alone.
Respectfully, HubertManne, it seems like you have not really thought about this topic very deeply from a perspective other than your own yet.
I myself am old enough that I can appreciate your comment that “my whole life sex and gender terms were one and the same,” but many things change across the course of our lives, and “no one is even forcing me to study or anything now” is not a reason to stop learning and growing as a person.
If you are willing, I’d invite you to read this article on Minority Stress: pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10712335/
Or, you might also read this one: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minority_stress , especially the section “Health outcomes among sexual minorities.”
Minority stress theory: Application, critique, and continued relevance
The minority stress model has been influential in guiding research on sexual and gender minority health and well-being in psychology and related social and health sciences. Minority stress has theoretical roots in psychology, sociology, public ...
Of course we continue to learn and grow but we do that in many ways. I also have a complaint that the us has a strange kinda pull you up by the bootstratps where everyone should be able to sorta figure out everything. kinda have to be a doctor, lawyers, accountant, mechanic, general contrator, etc. and does not seem to recognize that there is a limit to cognitive load. Im not really interested in putting a whole lot of effort in here and over time I will passively take things in over time but yeah im not looking to read articles on it. Things will change but its not going to be a massive shift all of a sudden. Honestly that is something I see a lot of today (online) and expectation of massive revolution level change and if it does not happen a complete unappreciation and actually abandonment of incremental change which I think is kinda kill us in the present.
Whaddaya mean by “fictional”?
Your last paragraph basically says that society progresses at its own steady pace, and people demanding more rights and societal progress are impatient and wasting their time. This is a fundamental misunderstanding of how society evolved. It’s not an automatism, it is the direct result of people raising their voices and demanding rights. Without this there would be no progress at all.
Im not sure if you think my thing was one thing. The first part was about expectations around changing societal norms and folks catching up with language and stuff but the last several lines where about censorship. So when it comes to fiction I don’t like anything being censored. Like there is this anime from way back. This guy finds a gun and he goes on a rape rampage and I think in the end kills himself but its been a long time. It was graphic and disturbing to say the least. It is something that there are certainly people if they were aware of it would want it banned. I do actually think it was trying to say something about guns though as well as maybe human demons and such
This might just be me but I’m struggling a lot to figure out the points you’re trying to make across your two comments.
The reason I asked what you mean by fictional is that’s the term you used for people’s self-identification. I don’t see how that relates at all to the actual fiction you mention in your response.
My second point was very important to what your initial comment said about progress in society, and you didn’t respond to that at all so I’m not sure if you’ve read it.
Yeah I did not respond to all your points. I did the first because it seems like you think all of what I was saying was in related to the same thing and it was not and you still seem to think. I did not move on to your second point as the first misunderstanding is rather severe. I really don’t want to keep expanding as I had two things to say and you had two points about it so im trying to get the one straightened out. So let me know if we have cleared up that my paragraph is not all about changing societal norms and I can reply to your second and longer response if you like. So Im horrible at making proper paragraphs and such but this is how it should have looked:
im fine with trans people and non discrimination but my whole life sex and gender terms were one and the same for me and most folks in everyday language. The idea of identifying pronouns for myself seems laughable to me. Im a big believer in simple solutions. Got some temp work at a place with genderless bathrooms that had the full floor to ceiling doors. Its a bit wierd to wash my hands with girls but its not like im naked. There is all sorts of language things going out of fashion (online) and folks are like just learn it but look despite decades of school my spelling and grammar are atrocious because habits don’t change easily and no one is even forcing me to study or anything now. On top of it, like it or not for the internet folks, it has no bearing in the outside world which is still basically jugging along at its own pace. It will over time for sure but it won’t happen as quickly as early adopters would like.
Also I pretty much don’t like any type of censorship of fictinoal things (this is the start of a second and independent response to the post. it could have been two responses but I was having a zoom zoom train of thought thing. this paragprah is not related to the previous). Reality and fiction are two different things to me. Although modern ability to fake things is making identifying something as real as tough. I don’t want claims of it being high end fakes as letting folks get away with crimes.
Im fine with trans people and non discrimination but my whole life sex and gender terms were one and the same for me and most folks in everyday language. The idea of identifying pronouns for myself seems laughable to me.
I think telling someone your pronouns is fine, and if you tell me I will make an attempt to use them (I will remember exactly as well as I will remember your name, which is to say at least till the end of your next sentence). I have NEVER met anyone who had a problem with this system, and I run in circles that have a very much above-average amount of gender stuff going on.
And if you DO get upset because I didn’t proactively ask for your pronouns, instead of just telling me, then we’re really not going to be talking much anyway.
Which is pretty much how I feel. Its fine if someone gives pronouns and I will do my best with it but it was not something historically I had to sorta tag people with so its a significant mental load comparatively. Its like all of a sudden having to remember everyones favorite cake or ice cream as a matter of course. That being said it being in a signature line of the email makes that pretty arbitrary but that being said its kinda annoying to have to find emails from people you talk to to see what the thing is for them. Don’t get me started on people who don’t use or ditch their signature in communications.