Mastodawn

My washing machine doesn’t need Wi-Fi.
It's a feature that I would regret.
I just need a way to wash my pants.
Not show them to the Internet.

My oven doesn't need Wi-Fi.
I'd value that least of all.
It's already shielded from getting too hot.
It doesn't need another firewall.

My fridge does not need Wi-Fi.
That is just not useful for me.
I want a place to chill my food.
Not chat via TCP/IP.

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Guillotine Jones, Flâneur

@neil
I hereby nominate this effort of yours, Neil, for the Nobel Prize in Literature.
We usually think of this prize as being for prose authors, but numerous poets have won it in the past, and I, for one, think you deserve to be among their number.